One-million dollars. What/who would you do for that much money? Could you make it with one person for 30 years? Could you stay married? Would you could you is my pitch, would you could you to get rich?"
Hey! Where did everybody go?
Yep, an internet site is giving out $1 million, and all you have to do is use their site for your internet shopping, be lucky--oh, and stay married 30 years. Don't they already have a name for people who stay married to gain a large financial settlement? Is internet-digger any better?
Is the divorce rate so bad that we've resorted to flaming hoops and doggie biscuits to see what somebody will do to stay married? Shouldn't that have been round 2 of "The Bachelor?" Not only do you have to marry the dope you need to mud wrestle his tighty whiteys, oh and stay married for 30 years to collect. Now that's a challenge. I'd have done it. Hell, I'd have stayed married for "I love you." but this isn't me, it's you.
Oh who am I kidding? Of course it's me! It's my rant, my post, my blog! You're only an imaginary readership that I use to give myself an audience.
"Blogger? The world will see you now…"
Why didn't I get this million dollar marriage brochure? I think MyEx might have hung out for that. Oh hey, back off…this isn't my high horse I'm sitting on, he's over grazing on the greener grass of some other married couples lawn. No, right now, I'm just sitting on my ass.
Look, I'm not saying MyEx was all abut the money. If she was, well, she sure punched the wrong lottery ticket when she married me. No, what I am saying is that maybe a little incentive would have given her the nudge she needed not to give me the push.
Of course the big question is: Would it have been worth it? I see people wrestle with that question every day. "Is it worth it?" Where do you draw the line. I think $1 million is a great place to start.
Most of us don't get to start there though. We have to scavenge through the remains of love looking for one reason--any reason--to stay. A good marriage is self-replenishing. Sure there are lean years but there are always tasty nibbles if we don't squander them.
"Mmmm…breast meat…"
What happens when one member walks away from the table though? Suddenly the infinite bounty of love is a goony rotting carcass. The stench of time wasted makes your eyes water like there's no tomorrow. Funny coincidence: there isn't, not in that marriage.
What about those couples going for the million who only make it to year 29? That's a mouth full of toothpaste with the OJ chaser.
"You couldn't make it one more year?"
"I might have if you weren't such an asshole!"
Yeah. Great. Might as well toss the rest to the dogs, cuz finding the love there is slim pickings. I don't think that all the money in the world can hold a bad marriage together.
What can? I've been told love, understanding, and compassion are a great start. I thought I started there too. So if I did, did we lay these things down to chase something else? I wonder. Sometimes one person wants the million dollars so bad they can taste it, but the other person just wants to be loved.
"Is that so wrong?"
Yeah, I've resorted to bad SNL humor to punctuate my marriage sentence. I think we deviate when we stop wanting what we want. And now, somebody's offering you 1 million reasons to do just that.
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