"Make it a memoir."
Memoir? Really? You think that's a good idea?
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, she should have written a memoir too. Living by wag of the tongue, and cushion of the sole, that's tough. One shoe. Did she have a sole mate? I'm just asking. I've been arguing with somebody about soulmates lately. It seems like a valid argument for shoe lady. For us, it's displaced. For us, it's a silly argument.
The woman I'm arguing with is married. Either she's found hers or she hasn't, one way or the other, it's a no win argument, especially since she's the person arguing against soulmate theology. It's a little late to convert her as a believer. Me, I'm arguing the "for," but after one divorce, I really don't have a leg to stand on, let alone a pump to pass in.
Soulmate? I keep my heart buried too deep in my chest for that. My soulmate better be a pirate, cuz she's gonna need a map and a shovel to figure out where I've hidden the silly thing.
Lub-dub marks the spot.
Maybe that's what a soulmate is: somebody who knows where to dig and wears a cool eye patch. Maybe that's why shoe lady only had one shoe: the other shoe dropped on peg leg Pete. There ya go! Life's mysteries solved in 2 minutes and 6 paragraphs. So how do 2 people that are more productive counting pin angels get into an argument about soulmates? I don't know, that'll take at least another six paragraphs to work through. Hang in there, maybe the answer will come, walking hand in hand with my soulmate.
Hey, where are you going? Come back! We'll find them! I promise!
I must be argumentative this weekend. Yeah, I know, MyEx says that's modus Roberandi. Ask her she'll tell you. Tell her I disagree, and she'll sigh and exhale in this really cool way where her lungs blow out her mouth like party horns. I saw that a lot.
I got in an another argument this weekend about the memoir thing. Ok, not so much an argument as a "Really? You thing that's a good idea?" moment. And since it was a reaction to an email, it was hardly an argument. More like mocking behind the monitor's back really.
So I decided to move the mock to the front of the face. It's a nice turtle neck, why not? Actually the email offender doesn't read my blog. Then again that's part of what led to the "Really..?" moment.
See, here's the thing. Back when I was trying to sell my manuscript, I contacted people in the business of writing to ask for help. Let's face it, when I need somebody's help, I'll ask. I'll also admit that I need it--would somebody pick up MyEx's eyeballs, they appear to have rolled all the way over here…
Even though I never sold the book, there was a woman who offered some great advice, and got me on the right path. Lately, I've been looking over my past year and a half trying to make something of it. I mean, what did I get out of the deal? A T-shirt that says, "I had a divorce and all I got was this lousy blog?" Then it gives my internet addy with a hit counter locked on "00000?"
Yeah. That's great. Still, in all honesty, my hit counter isn't locked on zero. In fact there are two of you who end up here daily. Thanks Mom. Thanks Dad. So if two or more are gathered in one blog, isn't there something I can do with it? Can't I publish for the "or more" crowd? Maybe they'd like to read too.
I've been trying to figure that out. Maybe I'm just to give a value to my divorce. A way to say "See? This beautiful cover art and embossed metallic name font came from all that trauma!" It's better than a T-shirt. I don't know how, but I think all this blog work could be so much more gratifying. I just have to sort all that out.
That's why I was emailing writer woman. I wanted to know If she thought I could publish the blog, or if I should try to incorporate it into a work of fiction.
"Make it a memoir."
Memoir? Really? You think that's a good idea? See, I have no problem with memoirs, but I think it gives the memoir more weight if people know the writer.
"Rob Boyd? Who's that?" The crowd would say.
"I know who Rob Boyd is!" A small voice would reply. That's my soulmate making her stand. Everybody will cry, "What beautiful shoes! What an eye patch! Where'd you get that shovel?"
That's cuz she's my soulmate. She knows me, whether she knows it or not. She's the woman who goes through my blogs and makes sense of everything, even when I'm lost. She sees the pattern and says, "This is what I think..." She'll edit my lift to make sense and I'll reply, "Why didn't I think of that?"
Yeah, I know. I'm not writing memoirs, I'm writing fantasy. But hey, a guy can dream, right? Someday my pirate will come...
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