Taking One For the Team

So I'm sitting around today playing "Go Divorce" with a friend. What? Never played? Sure you have! It's just like "Go Fish, but with divorce.

"Do you still sleep on 'your' side of the bed."

"No, go divorce."

There's never any winning this game. I'm not sure what the purpose is except to rattle the cage of all those King Kong memories you've locked up. It wasn't beauty that killed the beast it was her lawyer, but that's another game.

"Do you still freak-out being alone?"

"Define 'freak-out.'"

"Sob in the corner uncontrollably with the lights out."

"Go--aw, screw it! Fine!"

"It's ok, Rob…let it out…"

Ok, no I don't. No really. No, I mean it! Quit staring. I'm not gonna just burst into tears on command! I'm not a sobbing monkey!

Awww screw it….

See, these little games are the way we divorce folk make sure we're alright. How else would we know otherwise, we're not even sure enough to check the mail half the time, right? So we play games. "Go divorce," "Divorce Tag." You know, the standards. We steer clear of "Sorry."

My friend had a game she called line 'em up too, but that involved ex's a long wall blindfolds and last requests.

Oh my!

Some enjoy the bitter games the best. Me, I'm ok playing Go Divorce. It did bring us to the topic of teams though.

"I miss the team."

"Team sports? I mean I haven't tried divorce football, but--"

"No, I miss being THE them. You know, 'now playing, number 40, for the MarriedNameHere Team…'"

"Oh, THE team…Go divorce. "

It was a lie though. Truth was I did miss it. I missed Team Boyd. I missed who WE were I missed how WE did things. I mean, let's face it. I know me. Now, a year and a half later, I'm really familiar with me. I'm like a Robby Horror cast member.

"It's just a jump to the left…"

WE were a good team. I mean one of the best. If there were a team Olympics event for it we'd take home the gold. Well at least until the divorce disqualification. But other than that, we were awesome. She'd say jump I'd say "how high…" ok, no. But I mean things that were important--that's where we rocked.

It was us against them. When you divorce, the whole time drops out on injured reserves and you're on your own. It takes a bit to get used that. Noises at night, the feel of the bed.

I'm am getting better though. I'm still not 100 percent, but I'm training for the individual sports now. So is my friend. So are we all. The trick is learning to play alone.

I know, sounds dirty huh. Let's face it, we're all good at that. What we're not good at is navigating the time in our daily slalom. The days are either too short or too long. We're not nearly as good at the freestyle grocery shopping either. So we've gone from competitors, to also-rans.

Still, this time alone. It's necessary. It prepares us for what's next. Whether it's back in the game or watching in the stands. It makes us stronger and better than we were. And yeah, with enough practice we'll be as good as we ever were as a team. How else can we beat or friends at "go divorce?"