I Read the News Today, Oh Boy!

Guess what?  Georgetown University has announced another statistic that I’ve achieved.

Whoo-Hoo!

At first the whole great white caboose thing was kinda cool. I mean, I wasn’t chic or popular, but when it came to the American norm, I was the man. Divorce, foreclosure, laid off, if Grant Wood and Norman Rockwell had a paint fight over the American dream, I would be the drippings.

Now Georgetown is throwing out new statistics at the American Rob, and smacking him right in the face. Now I’m sort of like that Thrift Shop song that’s hitting the radio: fun at first, but after a while it’s just tired and worn out. I know. You still think it’s cute. Give it time. Trust me.

“I wear your granddad’s clothes, I look incredible…”

So what other American dream have I achieved now? According to a new Georgetown study, students who earn a two-year AA degree are making better money than students who earn a four-year bachelor’s degree.

Yup.

My Mass Comm BA and I can attest to that. Then again, in my unemployed state, there are high school graduates making more money than I am.  They didn’t spend a dime on their degree. I’m waiting for that statistic next.

On the other hand, I am off the graph areas: my student loan is paid off. Who else can say that? Yeah, who’s the dummy now!  Now watch this:

paycheck – loan payment = income.

Where paycheck = 0 and loan payment = 0…

Oh.

Holy Econ 101, Batman!

Well at least four years of school taught me how to work that kind of higher math. Maybe I should have gone for my master’s degree; then I could have learned to deal with the resulting depression from my results of mathematics.

Georgetown did offer one hopeful caveat. Their study furthered that in the long term and fine print, a bachelor’s degree earner would earn more than an associates degree earner.

Now that’s more like it. I now have something to work for. I still have a lot of long term left. That’s why I spent the longer term in college. I can win the long game. I have the extra education. I have the tools. I have the technology.

“We can rebuild him…”

I just need to play for the future. In the end I’ll come out ahead. Just like all those other artists whose work became famous after they died.

After they died…

Wha…?

Ok, so my plan needs work. Still, I’m a long-term white caboose, and my game isn’t over and I’ve got time to figure out how to play that game out.

Or time to be the best greeter Wal Mart has ever seen.

Time