Tripping Through the Fall.

Today is a special post. I wasn't sure I'd make it, but it looks like it's happened, and even better yet, I get to share the experience with you. It's official. Today is the one day a year we Californians call "fall." Tomorrow we call winter.

SoCal winters are a blustery things. The winds kick up, and the temps drop to the mid 40s. Stars panic, and freeze in the self-indulgent sky from neglect, while paparazzi burn film just to keep warm. It's horrible.

Fall is our one day bridge. That's right, for one day we gather around the trees and sing carols to the season we'll miss, and the season we're missing as we trip into winter. The 420 crowd likes the trip part.

Welcome to Fall, now here comes the kick to the groin.

So how did I spend my fall? Fall shopping of course! Fall day is a lucky day. Shopping and gambling are the best things to do on lucky days. Luckily for me, fall fell at the end of my vacation. I made a list of all the things I'd needed to survive my 8 month hibernation, put it in a place where I would never find it, and then went shopping.

Yup, momentum is everything; function is overrated.

That's my mantra; might as well be a Nike ad. Probably the only one item Nike would be interested in when it comes to my life. Right now I'm interested in remembering what's on my list.

Three items I remember. Three items from my list of "when fall leaves what should I take with me?" These three were my trinity of the hunt: ice cube trays for the freezer, bulbs for my office lamp, and head phones for work. Simple plan for simple needs, right? It's not, especially if you're shopping with Rob, and that doesn't matter what day of the year it is.

Yeah, I think MyEx is still in therapy from Rob shopping. Then again when she went Rob shopping she bought the whole package. Good for her! I give her points for exuberance!

See, Rob shopping usually falls under 2 categories: Research shopping, that's Rob looking at Rob things deciding if Rob really wants/needs them before Rob goes home empty handed; and then there's Rob's frenzied failure shopping, where Rob can't find what Rob's looking for but is willing to drive 100 square miles to try Rob's hardest, and try everyone else's patience.

Today was the latter. 3 things. Ice trays, light bulbs, head phones, how hard can that be? You have no idea.

First maybe I should break down my quest for you. The light bulbs I need are kinda specialty bulbs. They're florescent donuts. 2 big O's, how difficult can that be to obtain?

Alright, stop your snickering. I know…

Next are the Headphones. I'm actually expecting to fail at this one. I know what I want, and I'm thinking I'll have to order them online. Still, since I'm already out, it doesn't require I rip my arm off and slap myself in the face to try. I just seem to do that for pleasure…

Ice cube trays? Those are little things that you pour water into, let it freeze, and then use to chill beverages or whatever. Nothing spectacular, the only requirement is they make ice that fits in my glasses. My glasses are regulation beverage sized--nothing obscure like Kristin Chenoweth's left boot or anything; those are for guests.

In my search, I started simple: Target and Walmart. I was feeling lucky. These are the two great bastions of plastic goods, I should be able to find most anything there, right? Wrong. Not the ice cube trays, Not the bulbs I'm looking for, and yeah, I'm looking for better quality headphones then the ones that come with the transistor radio.

Walmart is scattered. I need a treasure map if I want to find associate huddling beneath the Indiana Jones Kiosk. What's worse is it's Saturday. Everybody's there. It's like they're having a special on Preparation H and every a$$&%#& is there to check it out. Which reminds me, I need to go to Costco too. I need dog food…

Target…well, they're special. My Target has pizza cutters shaped like Jonah's whale, and 23 different flavors of silverware caddies, but no ice cube trays. I did find a mini-muffin poly-thing that would work, but $15 seems like a lot to pay for 12 cubes at a time. I'm sure they'd pop out real easily though. And I do know I could put them in the oven. That's something I've always wanted to do with my ice.

"OW! My Coke is boiling!"

"No, that's not the coke, it's just the ice."

My next stop is Lowes, a home improvement store. I mean how much more home improvement do you get beyond ice cube trays and light bulbs? They do have ice trays. The problem is, they're part of a package deal. They only come with refrigerators. I figured for that price, I'd be better going back to get the mini-muffin molds.

They don't have my earphones either, so I search out the bulbs. These they have. I found the donuts that looked like the ones I have at home. There are 2 sizes to choose from, but that's fine, I need one of each size.

With one victory under my belt, I drove home with my kill on my hood. I needed to quit before the fall winds of fate turned cold. So this little piggy "whee"ed all the way home, two round fluorescents dangling from his the hood ornament like ring toss wins.

I knew I wasn't getting the phones, so that was ok. I was really surprised by the ice tray mishap. I'd underestimated my opponent. It wouldn't happen again. At least I got the fluorescents. I got something to show for my trouble.

Once home I pull the old rings off, put the new rings on…put the new rings--they don't go on. They don't fit. Two sizes and neither one fits? Crap! A cold wind blows the door open...

...And I forgot the dog food...

Welcome to winter.