Rob's People's Problems.

OPP, it's not just a Naughty by Nature thing anymore. Nope. It's now a Rob thing too! And no, I'm not stealing samples from somebody else's wife pantry. In my case, the other P, it is that simple.

Problems. Plural.

That's right, I've been down with other people's problems. Yeah you know me. I'm also down with OCD but that's another perfectly fonted, well balanced, evenly paragraphed post. It'll take hours to write and ages to get just right…I don't really have that kinda time right now. I'm dealing with problems: somebody else's.

See, I always used to joke about having a white knight complex. I'm the guy who rides in and saves the day. For those of you who appreciate an ironic take on that, I recommend Italo Calvino's Non-Existent Knight. I don't recommend much Calvino beyond that. For those of you who don't appreciate it, I recommend yesterday's Pearls Before Swine. You'll get your RDA of irony there too.

"Don't forget the liver…"

Back to knight...if ever I found a damsel, I'd ride in to distress her. It's what I do. I also distress cotton on the side--when I need cash; it's simple. I just suspend little Weevils over it's balls, and it gets really distressed really quick. The suspense is just too much for cotton. It's got so many problems.

So do people. Where ever you look, people got problems. I don't know, I look at mine and go "problems suck." I guess that's why I try to help other people. MyEx and I had different problematic philosophies. While I chased the OPP, she hid behind Douglas Adams' SEP shield. In this case the SE were Somebody Else's, the P problems were all the same.

It was bit of an issue for us. She couldn't understand how I found so many damsels, and I couldn't understand why my not-very-damsel hid behind her shield. It's all about dealing with peoples problems. I think we both chose different paths for avoiding our own.

Don't get my glib wording wrong. I never put a damsel's distress before my wife's. I apologized for doing that once; now I realize that that's not even what happened, but that village has long since burned down and those damsels are all dragon bait. I suck at apologies. I never apologize for the real reasons. I rush in to save the day and realize I'm confused about who and what needs saving. I'm just another knight who forgot to stop for directions.

The problem with knights is they're so busy working the OPP that they never look at their own. That's why I'm having an issue now. I have a friend going through a divorce. I see MyEx and I in her divorce, and I see us playing both roles.

I didn't really want to look at my divorce. I wrapped that up in burlap and weighed it down with a chain and cement lake shoes for a reason. I'm avoiding it.

I see an OP pending divorce, and I see the things that we P did wrong. I don't like the view, but it doesn't really hurt. It's sort of like dissecting a frog after you've had major surgery. Sure, the frog may look kinda similar, but you were too busy huffing resentment and courtroom anesthesia to really care. Sometimes a frog is just a frog, and this one's getting the knife.

Even if that's true though, you can't help but notice the similarities.

"Hey, my frog has a hard time being green, and sung the Rainbow Connection before he croaked! I did that too!"

I see us. I'm ok with that too. I don't think I should ever forget what happened--not completely. I'm not reliving my PP through her PP. There was a person I used to call MyWife, and we used to have a relationship, and who we were makes me who I am. I'd like to believe that's better than I was. If I can use that to ride in and save the day for somebody else, great. If I can't, at least I can hunker down and say, "Yeah, this sucks. I've been there, and you're not nearly as alone as you feel." Because when you've lived it, the O no longer stands for "Other," it means "Our."