Pawing at the Past

Here I am again. I thought I was done with all of this. I've done it before, I said I'm done, yet here I am. Why?

Cuz I care.

Welcome to my vet's office. Yesterday they took Cosmo's bandages off, today they're putting them back on. Why? Two problems:

One, the vet tells me that the surgery was "more extensive" than she'd thought. He'll need more healing time before he's ready to freely flop about.

Two, Cosmo is kicking the cone with his hind paw and using it to rub his ear. The dog head side of the cone is swabbed with enough puppy blood to star in a Friday the 13th sequel. Ok, maybe not, but I'm a paranoid doggie daddy, and that much blood can't be good.

"It is bleeding more than we'd like Mr. Boyd."

See? I told you!

This whole thing is tough for me. I know he's just really uncomfortable, and that's why he's doing this. Still doesn't he know that kicking at the cone is only going to make things worse?

He's only a dog…

I wish that were a valid excuse. The reality is that humans do the same thing. I don't know how many times I read about people following their ex or looking up an ex MySpace page just to see what that ex is doing. They're making you claw at your skull! That's what they're doing!

Is our clawing any better than my dog's pawing? We're clawing at the open divorce sore begging for relief, and we're only making it worse.

I'm not pointing fingers either. I'm just as guilty as the next Googling idiot. I looked up MyEx while she was still MyUnwife. I didn't expect to find anything. I was just looking, but I did look. In fact I think I was really surprised that I found something.

Oh it wasn't her, but it was her name, and it made me wonder. One night I felt exceptionally low and I typed her name into Google search. I found one of her in Austin Texas. I found far too ironic for far too many reasons to mention. Ok, only one reason, but I'm still not mentioning. The other her I found lived in the same town as my parents, and was looking for a good soy burger recipe.

Ok, so that was too weird and funny. It actually did cheer me up though. I got off lucky. What I'd found was more surreal than the Photo Shopped jpg of her lap straddling and forehead tonguing Owen Wilson on Google Images.

For once, I got out lucky. I usually don't. Most of us don't. Most of us end up dazed wondering, as one friend put it, "how many times this mule has to kick me in the gut before I learn not to pull it's tail?"

That's why I usually pin the tail on the donkey. He's usually too surprised to kick. Interestingly enough, that's how I got my wife to marry me.

"What the--"

"Marry Me."

What do you think, maybe I should invent a divorce cone? You know, some way to keep us looking forward and concentrating on the things that better our lives. Whenever we try to speed kick the things that hurt us, all we get is the sound of nails on plastic and excellent satellite reception.

Would it help? Too many of us want to look back, salivating on "why?" What good does that do, but make us look like a drooling idiot.

"His mouth's a little dry. He should drink more fluids." It's the vet. "I think he managed o loosen one of the sutures. It's healing, it just itches him really bad."

She's got one of my dog's ears bandaged down. It looks like sort of an offset bandana. Cosmo looks so cool. She's also cleaned out his cone. Now he can't see the horrors from his past.

If only we all could do that.