Here's a quick quiz for the avid reader:
What does Rob hate worst than admitting he's wrong?
Answer: Admitting somebody else is right in the process.
Yeah, I'm practically a Fonzie biker-boot heel drag here, cuz I can't even type the words.
"I'm wrrr---wrowrere--I’m wright, no…"
I had to call MyEx.
"Hello?"
"Hey. Me."
"Yes?"
"I need a favor."
Silence.
"You there?"
"…yes…What do you want?"
"yeah, cool. It's easy, you'll like this, I promise."
"uh-huh.."
"That was a Mellencamp record title! But you knew that, huh?"
"Yeah. You've got three seconds before I 'paint the mother pink.' "
"Ha ha..Nice cultural reference! I always liked how you could do that. So how have you been?"
"Rob. What do you want?"
"I need your help."
"You've said."
"Uhm, well…"
15 minutes later I've explained that I need somebody to write two sentences about how sometimes I might occasionally not be as accurate as possible, and how others might…well you get the idea.
Once I explained it to her, an email arrived before I could exhale, "Thanks." It seems she has no problem expressing my accuracy issues as compared to others. I don't know why, I'm the one who cleaned the bathroom…ANYWAY, thank MyEx for this post's opening.
Go ahead. Oh, you want to know where to send that? Oh, I promised never to publish her private info. However, if you email me, I'll give you her home address, her work address, home phone, cell phone, times you can find her at either location and a Google Streets view of her house. Just because I want her to know how you feel. She'd appreciate it. It would make her feel right.
"Rob, you're an ass."
See? I'm all about making other peoples day. I'm not just about being right. Or pointing out other's inaccuracies.
So before I made the last little detour, I was making a point. Stop laughing! I swear I was! Oh yeah, somebody else was…having a lucky perspective moment.
It started last Wednesday in my writers' group. Somebody asked when was the Christmas party.
Christmas party?
Yeah, see, I've held one every year since I've led the group. It's a nice year end gathering where we can be social, and not critique anything more than who didn't bring enough fudge. Everybody has a great time, and it's a good time to just be silly.
Last year, because of the divorce, I let somebody else host it. I was missing half my furniture, and I didn't feel people would be comfortable in folding chairs. If they wanted that, we could meet at the VFW. Well, at least until they found out we were writers, and that a least one or two of our members are fairly liberal.
I know! I was shocked too!
So, anyway, The host was going through a divorce, and wanted to do "something" so I let her. Because lets face it, I was going through a divorce and could barely muster the enthusiasm to do anything.
Well I haven't seen our host since last year's party, so I didn't have her as a fall back. So if I was having a party this year, I'd have to throw it myself.
Oh…
Well that would mean a lot of cleaning and cooking time, not to mention the decorations. What the hell? That’s a lot of work for just one night of catering to word slingers.
"I'll think about it." that's what I told the evil interloper. I went home to wait the appropriate time so I could say, "I don't think we're going to do it this year." Like an idiot, I told a friend about the party. Do you know what they said?
They said, "Do it. It would be good for you."
Apparently my friend wasn't listening. If I wanted real advice I'd talk to myself. Still, she was insistent.
"Do it. It would be good for you."
I emailed back, "You do realize this isn't a Kevin Costner flick right? If I throw it, of course they'll come. I don't have the time to throw it. So I don't want them to come."
A new email arrived, "Since you're 'thinking about it…' Do it. It would be good for you."
Sigh…
So after I wrote this person off both my "seek advice" list and Christmas list, I went about the rest of my week. Sometime around Saturday, I accidentally thought about it. It snuck in like a cat looking for extra pets.
"Mew? Party?"
"Hey…no…what?"
I thought about it.
I'd already planned on doing Christmas decorations this year, how much more was a party?
Next thing I know I'm planning things out. Maybe I do have time. I couldn't have been wro--not quite accurate. GRRR. How did my friend find time to be un-wrong?
So I sent out the invite. Now everybody knows I'm throwing my Christmas party on the 12th.
I think I've found a way around the who's right and wrong thing though. Here's the trick. After I emailed the invite, I got an immediate reply, it was from last year's host.
"...feel free to hold it here again. It was a memorable evening for all of us, and we'd love to host again."
Uhm, ok. So I'm not hosting this year. My guests will appreciate that. Still, I look back on last year, and I feel good, and no, not because I dodged a bullet. I didn't.
So why do I feel good? Well first I can now say my friend was wrong cuz now I don't have to host it, and I--once again--am right.
But also because last year I wouldn't have dreamed of hosting. I would have canceled it first. This year, I actually started planning. I was going to do it. The fact that I handed the reins over doesn't matter. It's about moving forward, and I did that. I suppose I should thank my friend, but I don't even think I'll tell them. I'll just whistle quietly, or spit air, whatever you call it.
As for the party, I'm looking forward to it. I was looking forward to hosting it too, but this works out better--for everybody. Now all I need to do is work out my "plus one" situation. If I'm trying to look smart, right, and snappy, I know who I don't invite...
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