Christmas In Zork.

"I was eaten by a grue."

"Yeah, that's what happens when you don't have a light source."

"My sword was glowing."

"Yeah, Froboz swordlight, just isn't enough to scare away the hungry grue."

"Froboz..?"

A friend of mine just discovered Zork. When her husband comes home looking for dinner, I recommend he "search cabinet" cuz the table is empty and his wife is at the keyboard, discovering new worlds.

I love talking to people younger than me. They remind me of my first discoveries. First text game, First dance, first kiss, first adventure. After the eternal first, everything changes to seconds and the next minute is never the same.

"Nothing happens here."

Something about the new and exciting sets us off like a car battery to the nipples. Ok, maybe a little tamer: how about a 9 volt to the tongue?

Right now I have a friend discovering the Underground Empire. Sure it was built in the 80s, but she's never seen it before. I've never seen The Coliseum, and it's older than the 80's, so I cut her some slack. Besides, I'm not sure she's ever played a game without killer graphics.

"Finish him!"

It's ok. We all have firsts, and we all grow from them. Some are enjoyable, some are not. The one thing they all have in common is that they're all new. Yeah, I know. That was my first effort at writing philosophy. Petty deep, huh? Wait, there's more wisdom dirt flying out of that shallow grave coming up. Just wait, you'll be the first.

Zork was my first text based computer game. I played it on a Commodore 64. Yeah, slide your abacus along and figure it out. That's right Rob is dirt old in gamer years. I'm never too old to have firsts though. There's always time for something new to this old dog.

Hey, last year I had my first divorce. I learned I want it to be my last. Some first's are indelible.

"Uhm…I ate the garlic in the lunch sack, was I supposed to do that?"

"I don't suppose you saved your game, did you?"

Saving. Can't do that in real life. It's one of the things that makes us reluctant to experience new things. "What if I screw up?" becomes our paranoid mantra. And the older we get the easier it is to hide behind it. Either that, or we rush into a midlife crisis with Wolfenstein abandon.

The games we play when we're young are supposed to teach us how to survive being an adult. Our fist apartment teaches us to open our first savings account and to enjoy our first cup of ramen. Our fist car teaches us how to survive our first accident. It's all part of the game.

When I was young I was a Commodore guy, when I grew up I became a PC guy. I always played it safe. Lately there have been people trying to get me to rethink that. They think I should enjoy new things and surprises. Hey, if there's anything a PC guy learns, it's to avoid surprises.

"Your computer has encountered an unrecoverable error. Here's a list of random numbers good luck with those, and thank you for buying Windows Vista!"

Yes the first blue screen of death is always a eye opening experience. Still, as Windows users we learn to deal. Nothing is perfect. That's what we learn from divorce and our first attempt a making homemade spaghetti.

My young friend is having her first experience getting lost in a forest of words. That's always fun. She's gathering her first treasures, and solving her first puzzles.

Me? I'm past most of my firsts at least that's what I told myself. I thought I was. Now another first: I've just discovered I was wrong. Not only are there other firsts to be had, but apparently there are surprises too.

I've just made my first Christmas plans since MyEx left. Yeah, that's a first. Now the surprise: I just found out I'm going to see a real life troll bridge.

"No freakin' way!"

"Yeah! It's here."

"I am so going!"

"Good."

I'm past texting about it. I've already done that. This time I'm moving on. I'm not just writing it, I'm doing something real.

That's a first, and it's a bit of a surprise. And unlike my other friend playing Zork, my surprises don't include a wandering thief.

"He just took my pot of gold!"

"yeah, that sucks. I've been there before."

I'm not there now though. I'm somewhere new.