Thankful

Was it as good for you as it was for me?

 

Did your swell up like a Mountain Dew and Mentos in a gassy balloon?  Can you move?  It’s ok, just blink once for yes, twice for no.  Did you save room for dessert?  I know, silly question even if you didn’t, there’s always room in the balloon for 2 more Mentos—At least until it explodes.  But then the clean up is just somebody else’s problem, isn’t it?

 

Yeah, it’s obvious I’m feeling better today, isn’t it?  It’s amazing what a few extra hours of sleep and an IV of OJ will do.  And no, no Mr. Simpson jokes here, please.  This is Thanksgiving. We don’t talk about divorce and other travesties of justice on Thanksgiving.

 

One of the things I do talk about on Thanksgiving is family.  Yup, in fact I call them.  I try to make sure everybody knows I’m alive and well and still living in denial. This year I spent at least an hour on the phone with my dad.  We talked about the past year.

 

“I think you have a lot to be thankful for,” he says.
I think you’re silly and should lay off the eggnog. “Yeah, I agree.”

Actually I did agree with him. I just hate admitting it. I come from a long line of martyrs.  Why would I possibly agree when things are going good?  What would I have to be thankful for then?

 

Still he did have a point.  Last Thanksgiving, I was alone.  This Thanksgiving, I was alone.  Last Thanksgiving, I grilled a Cornish game hen.  This Thanksgiving, I grilled a turkey breast.  Yup, big difference. 

 

Ok, so maybe the difference isn’t in the Thanksgiving dressing, but the pudding proof is in the cranberry can o’ reality. It’s the jellied goo that makes me thankful this year.

 

See last Thanksgiving, nothing congealed. It was my first Thanksgiving without MyEx. It was the Thanksgiving of runny Robby mess, without substance. That sloshy stuff on the bottom of the cranberry dish?  Yeah, that was me. Don’t get me wrong, last Thanksgiving was ok.  I did fine on my own.  But last Thanksgiving was a force of will.

 

Last Thanksgiving I prepared myself to have a good time.  It was my morning, noon, and night mantra for the full week.

 

“I will enjoy Thanksgiving.”

 

By the time I got to Thanksgiving day, I had no choice but to have fun.  That’s not really a problem; it worked, but it was work.  I couldn’t believe how much effort went into enjoying a meal alone.

 

That was last Thanksgiving.  This Thanksgiving was wrapped in the same trappings, same wine, same solitary existence, but I enjoyed it. What was the difference?  I didn’t need to trick myself. There was no Thanksgiving magic, just Rob and good food.  That was enough. I’m happy with my life. I’m happy with who I am.  I’m happy with where I’m going. I enjoyed Thanksgiving because it was easy.

 

That took me one painful year to get here, but now that I’m here, I’m thankful. That’s what made this year better than last.