Happy 4th! What are the chances you're going to read this before the fifth? A fifth? Hey! What would be cooler than waiting till tonight and reading this by the rockets red glare, over a white chardonnay, eating blue tortilla chips? If you stick with a mild salsa, or a fine nacho cheese I think the flavors would match.
Today, in celebration of independence we (the Blogwriter we: MyWife and I) continue our slouch toward freedom. We reworked our divorce questions, and the forms are ready to print. That's part of our bill of rights: Rob has the right to print forms that continue and contribute to the emancipation of MyWife.
I have other inalienable rights, one of which no longer includes the right be bear arms. It appears that that requires a certain amount of trust, and trust fled our house under a cascade of insults moths ago.
It's ok, it's been replaced by the door mat of apathy. "I don't care" is the new credo. You should see our family crest. I'd post it, but it's not very "family friendly."
I do have the right to be civil. She welcomes it, although rarely returns it in kind. Sometimes though, we still allow ourselves the joy of banter. It's a little more experimental since the tender spots have swollen with spite, but it's still there. Yesterday we joked about stuff going into our declaration of independence:
Me: fumbling through reams—no wads—of filed paperwork "Ok, here is the last retirement statement you gave me...it's December 06. I think you stopped giving me official documentation after that…"
MyWife: looking up from her monitor, "hmmm…I wonder why that would be?"
Me: "Probably just an oversight."
MyWife: "must be."
See? Great fun! I'm also afforded the freedom of limited sarcasm. I wouldn't survive without it. It's my floatation device in the plane wreck of my marriage. Not all that comfortable, and not good for much else, but it does keep me afloat.
One of the other things that grants me the illusion of sanity, is my ability to laugh at my world. The people, the places, the stuff that happens everyday. You just have to open your eyes. The colors, the smells, the stupidity are palatable if you just wake up.
Last night I was in a local office store, buying replacement ink for the quarts we drained for the divorce documentation. I swear, I've written shorter stories, but anyway…I'm in front of the cashier with my little cartridge and a man walks in.
"Can I bring my dog in here? I need to use your restroom"
The girl behind the counter stops running my box over the illuminated UPC reader, blinks and looks up at the guy. Me, I'm buried in my wallet, digging for a credit card. If I crawl out and look up, he'll notice that I'm already laughing at him, and he's a big guy.
There's an obvious question that needs to be asked.
"How big is he?" the clerk says. She's missed it.
Still digging…I have to have a credit card amongst these plastic rectangles somewhere…
"He's about this big." I glance over the leather. The guys got his hands in front of him like he's carrying an imaginary pizza box with imaginary oven mitts. Oops, the guy catches my eyes and feels the need to explain; I'm not the only one embarrassed for him. "If I leave him in the car, he'll get out."
Yes, the dog who can unlock car doors or roll down windows without the keys, who can bar this kind of canine from freedom? Run Spido Run! I wish my dog had opposable thumbs…
The girl hasn't moved the box since the conversation began. Her head hasn't registered what's going on, and that's no slight to her. I don't think John Madden with all the squiggly lines in the world could have explained this to anyone's satisfaction, but bless the girl for trying. "Is he a seeing eye dog?"
"No, he's a German Shepherd."
???
My card, my card, where is my card? Do I have cash? Must keep from laughing…can't look up…
More silence. Even the overhead Bee Gee's stopped singing and are listening over the intercom now.
"I'm sorry sir, no."
"Ok." and he walks back outside and drives off.
The world is a wonderful place if you just stop and smell the antiseptic.
I wouldn't have missed an exchange like this for anything. And I had to follow it up with the realization I needed to go home and further MyWife's march towards autonomy.
See we have freedom, but is it really what we want? Is it what we need? I went to a Bible study before my office store encounter, and we talked about love in the face of evil. An interesting concept for a man attempting a friendly divorce. I'm always amazed how whenever I'm lost in some problem, the Bible studies always bring light to the issue. Sure you could argue that I could make anything fit my problem if I wanted to bad enough, and you may be right, but sometimes when several arrows pierce the targets heart, you have to attribute it to more than luck.
We were talking about people and situations in our lives. Nobody in my group is aware of my divorce. It's a difficult topic to discuss in church. The second you say "I failed" All eye's turn to you as if you're a heathen. The church doesn't take divorce, lightly, but that's okay, neither do I. But here I am, and I've vowed to make this the most amicable divorce in history. Maybe in turn she'll see things differently, and learn before the next time.
"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." (Romans 12:21)
Yeah, I'm trying. Yet it's funny. It stands opposed to all the "freedom" we seek. First off, it's a command. The free don't follow commands; they live in California. Secondly, it's asks us to put our feelings, our pride, our needs for vindication, underneath the needs of others. Because what is "good?" It can't be the self's need for self rights and independence. I don't believe good can live in a vacuum. We need to invite others. Good flows from the individual, but affects the multitudes. Good is giving:
"This is my command: Love each other." (John 15:17).
Sometimes serving is okay too. If it's a symbiotic effort with somebody you’ve promised to cherish and protect for life what better service is there?
So on this independence day celebrate your love. Swirl the savor of nachos and wine and remember the flavor they've brought to your world. And if you don't have a spouse or a mate to share it with, celebrate your love for friends and family.
I'm gonna be alone with MyWife.
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