"I saw the sign…"-Ace Of Base

So today is my big walk. Once a month I do an 8 mile walk across town and back. It gets me out in the world without being a part of it. Sort of like sitting in a restaurant watching a big family eat a meal. It's like your part of all the fun, but you don't have to smell grandpa's gas.

Why am I telling you about my big walk? Because it eats into my quality blog time. Instead, of reading something I poured over for hours, you get to read this thing I slapped on the page really fast.

NO! That is not just like how I do my normal blog, thank you very much! Although that appears to be how I'm picking the music this week, huh? Sorry bout that. It appears I've given up my dignity lately.

But anyway...

Today's slapdown slipshod work is a list. I call it:

Signs She's Moving Soon

By

Rob Blogwriter

1. "Good Towels" have been replaced by the towel you took to college. The same towel she commented "No, really, where are your tow-els?" the first time she visited you.
2. Everything in the house has new "Decorative" moving labels it.
3. All the mail for the past three weeks has been addressed to you or "resident."
4. The pets are missing, but one of the "fragile" makes muffled mews when you shake it, sort of like the "baa lamb" your sister owned.
5. All the extra rolls of Toilet paper disappeared.
6. Some guy named Mike called, said he was a mover, and didn't sound flustered when he said it. Unlike that guy last month.
7. Her screensaver is a reverse rolling countdown clock playing "Goodbye to you" at the top of every hour.
8. "Billy the Singing Bass," the one your mother gave you as a wedding gift, has moved from his place of prominence in the hall closet, and replaced her favorite artwork in the livingroom.
9. The washer and dryer have been replaced by an aluminum tub, a washboard, and 19 feet of nylon clothesline.
10. The vacuum is missing—-Oh wait, you won't notice that until 6 weeks after she's gone.
11. The house smells less like potpourri and more like you.
12. Crisscrossing knife marks make her name illegible on the plaque hanging over the front door; yours still looks pretty good.
13. Her Porsche now sports a trailer hitch.
14. The chandelier over the dining table has been replaced by a 60 watt bulb with a pull chain.
15. She's throwing a party for all her friends who drive pickups the weekend you're out of town.
16. The hair scrunchies that have littered the bathroom counter since the day she moved in are gone.
17. All the furniture is bubble-wrapped.
18. The dartboard with your picture on it has been put away.
19. Your dinnerware is now Mason jars and paper plates.
20. The password to the bank accounts has changed, and you don't seem to have the new one.