"Dead disco Dead funk Dead rock and roll…"-Metric

Have I emphasized how important music is to me? Have I given you a clue? It's big. It's waking up in a bathtub of ice without a kidney big. I'm constantly checking, making sure my music is there, I like to involve it in everything I do on some level. "Hey music! We're making dinner! Whatcha got for that?"

Let's not get confused: I am not a musician; I play guitar with the prowess of a three-toed sloth. That doesn't stop me from pissing off the neighbors from time to time though. No, I'm a music lover as a spectator. Even now, I'm bouncing back and fourth between XM Radio, iTunes, and Pandora.com. I just created a new radio station there and I'm trying to tweak it. Check out my Pandora stuff sometime:

http://www.pandora.com/people/grphter

Hang on it's getting a little mellow…

Cool! Some old X! That's better. Anyway…

My first job? Record store. Ok, no, that was my second job. The first one was fast food. No, wait, the second was department store...retail...But the third! That's right, my third job was a record store. I was good too. I could tell you what song you were looking for within first stanza of "la la la la." I could also tell you who else you might check out later when you were feeling experimental.

I wrote a novel, it's unpublished, but it involved music. It was a coming of age thing—think High Fidelity meets Book Of Joe set in the 92 LA riots. Did I mention there was music?

Anyway the protagonist is kind of like me (go figure): he identifies everything through song, and files memories according to artist and track. I do that with people too.

Sure we all have relationships with "our songs," but I also include breakup songs too.

My first girlfriend, our song was "We Belong" by Pat Benatar. Our break-up song? "Don't Leave Me Now" by Supertramp. When it comes to break-ups, I'm a sucker for melodrama.

The first girl I had sex with? It's funny, she's kind of an exception to the rule. I don't remember "our song." I think I've blocked it out. I remember it was something sappy-schmaltzy, probably written by Kenny Nolan ("I like Dreamin'", "Masterpiece in You," and many many more sentimental sonic Hallmark cards.). What I do remember is that the first time we had sex we were watching Bambi. OK, maybe I should expand that story before somebody calls the FBI and Children's Services.

We were not watching Bambi because she couldn't watch "R" movies. We were watching Bambi because I owned it, and she thought that was cute. I'd long since learned that where other guys could rely on burly machismo, I needed to rely on disarmingly cute. The problem is that I'm not that either, but in this case, Bambi was enough to get me by. I was told later that Encino Man would have done the same thing, but I'll stick with what I know.

I do remember our break-up song: Bonnie Raitt "Have a Heart." It's probably the only true break-up song I've had, because it was the only one that played on the radio while the girl broke up with me.

Actually it started out as The Cure "Friday I'm in Love," while she said, "I just don't see where this is going."

Song fades.

"But I love you." Yup, that's the Band-aid to everything.

In the meantime Metallica comes on with "The Unforgiven," and I reach out, click another preset. Her preset. Yes that's right, I gave her a preset. That's a sign of true love isn't it? A preset on your partner's car radio? Her preset was the local "lite hits" station, and yeah, this is where Bonnie Raitt comes in. 'Cuz within moments of "…I love you" leaving my lips, Bonnie answers:
...But sooner or later your love is gonna make me bleed.

I wish I were joking. It took me years to find that funny. That's how I knew I was finally over Bambi-lover.

There was a girl I met online back in the days of MOOs and MUDs. The first time we talked on the phone, was the first time I saw the video for Marilyn Manson's "Sweet Dreams." Things just didn't work out after that. She scared me.

Then there was MyWife. The first time we talked on the phone, MTV was playing Sublime "What I Got." The first song I sang to her was Jewel's "You Were Meant For Me," accompanied by Jewel herself, thanks to a VH1 simulcast. That became our song. I think I sang the chorus to her every time we got off the phone. Pretty disgusting huh? We used to laugh, because it was the type of stuff that grossed us out in other people. The song that played most when I visited her the first time? Probably a tie. Matchbox 20 "Long Day" or Blur "Song 2" or the "Woo Hoo Song" as some people like to call it. Those people would be incorrect.

We already have our break-up song too. It's official, we've both latched onto it. It's My Chemical Romance's "Famous Last Words." Something about the guttural/ borderline maniacal intro of:

Now I know, That I can't make you stay. But where's your heart?

It an accusation we both understand.

Music was one of the things she liked about me. That and she thought I was sarcastic. I don't know, I don't see that. Me? Sarcastic? Whatever.

That'll be one of the hardest things to cope with though. All the songs I lose because of her. I've attached so many tracks to her being around me; every time I hear The Flys "Got You Where I Want You" a mental slideshow will pop up inside my eyes of our little apartment in the desert. She hated that song, but the radio loved it, and since there were only 2 tolerable stations in the desert, that's what we listened to. That was our "getting to know you" phase and I'll get to relive it for three minutes forty-nine seconds whenever that song plays.

How can I tell her she can't take my music? I like these songs! Most of them I would have listened to without her, she can't make them hers! Why isn't there some way to sanitize a song, to burn the impurity from the contaminated audio? Can't I attach it to somebody else like a refrigerator magnet?

Here Bob478, you can have Days of the New.

CrimsonQT, you take the Porcupine Tree. Don't like them, well what about In Syn—Oh, sorry, that was supposed to be hidden with the porn. Take The Korn, bud don't let MyWife know, she likes that a lot.

Where is everybody going? Why are you running away? I have so many memories to give away! Just knock me out, put me in a bathtub of ice...