"And you may ask yourself Where is that large automobile?" -Talking Heads

There are advantages to being married. I've glossed over a few of them in my previous entries, things I like, things I'll miss. Today I'd like to talk about the economical benefits; at least one aspect. Let's talk about car insurance. Did you know there's a "married discount?" Of course you did. I've been married long enough that I forgot about it, but I was recently reminded by the kind folks at Geico.

My wife is busy preparing for her new life without me, so she's gathering all the little things she'll need: new plates, new glassware, a new can opener, a new car. I told her she could have the old one, I mean she's always liked it, hell, it was her car. I work at home, why do I need a separate car? That's why I let her pick it out. As long as she was happy driving it, I was ok paying for it. But, in the re-fi we put the remainder of the car loan on the mortgage. I've stopped calling it her car. I told her if she really wanted it though, I'd sell it to her for blue book value. That's at least 4 grand less than what we owed on it. She decided she something new would be better. I'm beginning to see a pattern here. Sorry, that was a little bitter, let me wipe the bile from my lips.

So anyway, she bought a new car, and for once, her timing worked for me. I needed to renew the insurance. Dialing Geico, our current insurer, I explained the new circumstances. They explained to me that even though she has 1 no-fault accident and drives 7000 miles more a year than I will, my insurance will need to go up $200 as a courtesy for taking her off the policy.

Interesting side note, the new insurance for her new car? It's $30 more than what we were quoted on our old car. I just shook my head, I know when the cards are stacked against me. Sometimes it's just best to accept when you're beat.

So, I called around for a new quote, and after a few calls, I found somebody who was willing to insure me (same coverage) for almost the same price Geico quoted Married Rob. I took the deal, and walked away.

I found out something else. Geico is more vindictive than my wife. Oh sure, they love to show you the cute Gecko, but while you're watching the loveable lizard, they're bending you over the hood of your car.

Last night I got a new bill in the mail from Geico: twenty bucks. Now if that were six months insurance I'd be dancing naked right now. It's ok, you can thank God it wasn't. They were charging me for the first few days of May. See, they wanted to protect me so bad, and were so sure I'd return, begging for them to take me back, that despite the fact that I canceled my insurance, they continued my coverage. Just for my protection. Now, they're charging me. I suppose I should be thankful Geico isn't a stalker. Then they'd be following me around for months wracking up bills, boiling my pets on the stove.

For my protcection. Thanks Geico. What's worse is that now that Geico's showed themselves to be a creepy stalker, I've got to figure out how to gently tell them they scare me, and I'd rather they didn't handle my homeowners policy either. Well the good news is I do live right across the street from a fire hydrant.

Tomorrow, the adventure continues...