Sick Day

Did I miss a Monday?  Of course I did.  Well, I didn’t really miss it. It happened. I was here. I still paid my dues, just not as a blogger. I paid them as a husband.

Yah, the difference is far more labor intensive.

It appears last year I agreed to love honor and cherish. Somewhere around page 37, paragraph 3 of that agreement, there’s a servitude clause. 

“READ IT!” Says MyQueen handing me a snotty Kleenex.  She’s a little delirious. The wedding document is in her other hand. If she’ll only blow her nose on that, I’m a free man. That’s written in the fine print on the next page.

 I shouldn’t complain. I love her, and by all bio-virulent calculations, this cold is my cold she’s carrying.

“Mom! Dad! The Pirate Queen is having my virus!”

“Thanks son. It’s 3am.”

I feel a little guilty. Not about the call. My folks are used to that. I mean about passing on the cold. I’m also a little understanding. I’ve had this thing. It only had her down for four days. It took me over a week to pass it along.  She’s just proving her superiority. I let her.  That’s on page one of our contract.

It’s bad if I ignore page one before our first anniversary.  That’s coming up soon. Did you know?  I sure did.  According to Hallmark, the first anniversary is paper. Yah, I think they have a vested interest in that.

Well this first anniversary I have a little surprise for their marketers. This year I’m bucking their tradition and going vinyl.

“It’s a Cat Woman suit. How thoughtful…”

Shhh. Don’t spoil the surprise. 

Actually, no. I’m not going that vinyl. It turns out that my anniversary is also National Record Store Day. Whoo freakin’ Hoo! Record stores participating in my anniversary will give away Jimi Hendrix posters, and bands like Garbage are putting together special recordings to celebrate my love. Jack White is the official RSD ambassador. That makes him my anniversary ambassador!

That makes this the best marriage ever!

How many other couples can say they spent their first anniversary with Jimi Hendrix and Garbage?  Okay, so Jimi will only be there in spirit. We’re not digging him up, but the Garbage is there and they’re real.

“I thought you were special. I thought you should know…”

This is a big event. Go to your favorite record store, or the Record Store Day website and celebrate both my loves!

I can’t wait.

Until then, I’m handling the less glamorous side of love: the dirty Kleenex.

“READ IT!”

“Yes, my love…”