Jingling Change in Yoga Pants

I hate change.

You name it; I get settled in it, and then I’m like, “Why change it?” Routines, fast food orders, and underwear, these are all things that are more comfortable when you leave them alone.

One more thing: yoga pants.

Why yoga pants? I don’t know. Everybody else is talking about them. Why should I change that?  And why should Lululemon change my yoga pants? I knew they were sheer, that’s why I bought them.

Why change them now? Didn’t somebody at Lululemon notice that the pants were a bit revealing the first time Connie in accounting tried them on?

“Connie…not a natural blonde?”

Ok, they weren’t that sheer, but one would think Connie’s leg hair showing through would have said something.

“See me now?”

No. Lululemon waited.  Why? It costs more to pull them now than to quality control them first. Some are blaming quality control in the Asian mills where the pants are made. What’s it take to quality check yoga pants?

“They stretch?”

“Check.”

“They bend?”

“Check.”

“They don’t taste like lead paint?”

“Dang it! Charlie!”

I dunno it seems that somebody would have seen through this earlier. Then again, there’s another argument against sending manufacturing overseas: you get what you pay for.

Still, that’s how we do things now, and as I said, I don’t like change. So why is Lululemon changing them at the end of the first quarter? The timing is odd. Were they afraid the company wasn’t going to make their goals so they made it look like they were sabotaged rather than just inefficient?

That sounds like a lot of work just to shoot yourself through the Spandex and still point the finger of blame at yourself. Then again, some things never change.

That’s why I hate change. It’s usually a knee-jerk reaction to something that wasn’t broken to begin with.  Remember changing to Windows ME?

Not all change is for the better.

And now we’re talking about change in printers.  Have you seen these 3D printers?  They’ll print anything you program them to print. I don’t know about you, but in the age of terrorism, I find that a bit scary. 

Guns don’t kill people, printers do.

“It’s turning a little brave new world a little fast for my liking.”

Who said that?

Huxley?

No.  My grandmother, the first time she saw a microwave oven.

Great. In my inability to change, I’m changing into my Grandmother.  Somebody print me a cane. I’m gonna sausage case my legs into my see through yoga pants. I need to chase the kids off the lawn.