He’s a hero.
He’s an online shark wrestler, and now he’s unemployed.
Don’t mess with the sharks. Their union is pretty
impressive. They’ll get you anywhere you hide. They even know where you live.
They’re also apex predators, which means the shark is at the top of the food
chain. Unless you’re a Jet, then
you’re a Jet all the way, and the Sharks’ll steer clear.
Paul Marshallsea, a 62 year-old Welsh man visiting Australia
found out about sharks the hard way. One day on the beach, he saw a dusky
whaler shark swimming near water splashing toddlers.
We’ve all seen Jaws. We know how sharks hate to get
splashed.
This shark wasn’t Jaws.
“We’re gonna need a smaller boat.”
Smaller.
Yeah, that’s about right.
Still, the shark was about six-foot long. A small child
probably looked like an early lunch. Paul thought so too, and he didn’t want
any shark messing with his meal, so he dove into the water, grabbed the shark
by tail and fin, and guided it out to sea. That action made Paul a hero.
“Yay!”
It also turned him into a YouTube sensation. Or is that
visa-versa, because what act can be considered “heroic” without being caught on
camera and posted online first? It’s really only a “thoughtful gesture” until
uploaded.
Almost immediately after driving of the dusky whaler shark,
other sharks filled the waters.
“Hi, I’m Bob Sneed, channel 2 news. I just happened to see
your thoughtful gesture. Can I have your thoughts?”
Paul told the mirror.uk his thoughts. “It’s shallow for
about six yards where the shark was and a lot of babies and toddlers splash
about there. It could have been very nasty,” Marshallsea said. “When I dragged
the shark to just over a knee deep he turned on me and just missed me with a
bite. It nearly took my leg off in a split second.”
Gasp!
Drama!
Heroics!
Danger!
Paul was a sensation online and in the press. An inspiration
to one and all. All except his
boss back home.
See, Paul worked for Pant and Dowlais Boys & Girls Club,
a Welsh charity. Paul called in sick to visit Australia and wrestle sharks.
I wish I were that sick.
Paul’s boss was sick too, and his cure was to let Paul go.
Seems Pant and Dowlais has a “well enough to wrestle sharks, well enough to
work” policy. It doesn’t matter that Paul was busy saving Australian children.
Welsh charities are selfish with their philanthropy. On the plus side, Welsh
taxes may not be so stringent. Paul might be allowed to write the trip off as a
work related charity effort.
Not really. Don’t try this at home, even if home is Wales.
And don’t strain anything beyond a “thoughtful gesture” if you’re calling in
sick.
In a related story, Paul’s wife works for Pant and Dowlais
too. It seems that she called in sick the same days Paul did.
They’ve fired her too.
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