Monday, December 17, 2012

Blogging Angst


Tis the season I swore I’d write nothing about. As a blogger, I feel it is my responsibility to avoid certain topics. The vat of Rob knowledge is really more of a tall coffee spilled across the floor.  The little bit puddled in the paper corner when you pick it up is my brain on a good day.

That’s why I make it my responsibility to avoid non-blog issues. If you want grey matter, see a scientist. If you want grey news, read a newspaper. If you want a bubbling font of popular opinion, check out Facebook. Me, I’m just a blogger. I’ve got a tall cup of bold words meant to scald the tongue, but nothing more.

So when Friday morning opened tragedy season, I vowed to remain silent. I had nothing new to offer. My bitter sarcasm holds no place for those who will never view the Christmas season the same way again.

Yeah, no jokes work here.

Last Friday morning, twenty-six human lives were stolen, and twenty of those lives were barely old enough to read my blog, and all were still bright enough not to. When I heard the news I felt sick. I’m a sucker for potential. All of these twinkling Connecticut kids, had futures brighter than Christmas lights. The adults were already greater than a simple RobBlogger. They gave the greatest gift of all.

All my words could never equal that. That’s why I planned to do as I always do. I’d offer alternative holiday plans for those who were interested, and maybe leave some space for others to grieve in silence.

Fesivus for the rest of us!

Yeah, come Friday afternoon, the silent grieving never came. The first Facebook friend posts I read were not thoughts of concern or prayers of sympathy for the families and survivors of Sandy Hook. All I heard were cries for less gun sales or more gun rights.

Really?  Twenty-six families have nothing more than wrapped piles of Christmas reminders sitting under their trees and we’re shouting rhetoric about how their loss affects our personal gun rights? I thought I had better Facebook friends than that.

Apparently I don’t. 

The group of friends I surround myself with posted photos of dead bodies strewn before gunmen. They wish to fear me into the belief that taking away all the weapons is the only way to eliminate bloody horror, because crazy obsessed people are easily thwarted by signs that say “No guns sold here.”  Crazy people would never think of other destructive outlets to relieve their crazy.

“Oh, and Merry Christmas from the Dangles!”

My other friends post images of a sixteen-year-old’s wet-dream fantasy teacher in a tight black sweater holding a sub-machine gun. She’s informing me how instructors should all be armed, because clearly crazy teachers with non-altruistic agendas are as non-existent as Santa Clause.

“Teachers with guns? Yes, mistress…”

All my friends profess their ideology in the name of those murdered in Newton. This is the atrocity that forced me to break my vow of silence. See, It’s horrible enough that these events happened, but to push agendas in the name of those involved is even worse: it’s destructive.

My friends’ fight isn’t the victim’s fight. I’m betting nobody who died Friday got up and said, “I want to sacrifice myself in the name of armed Americans!”

I’m also pretty sure my friends’ fight isn’t the survivor’s fight. I once had a friend who was tied to a dead man for several hours while the police negotiated with the armed terrorists holding him captive.  His first thoughts weren’t for Americans with arms. In fact I think he’d have gnawed off his own arms if it had gotten him to safety. That friend kept his arms and his life, but going forward, what he needed more than gun debate was real friends, family, love and patience as he came to grips with what had happened. He needed people to listen to the real questions he asked.

“Why?”

That’s the reason I don’t like to blog about these things. I don’t have the answer in my little cup. I’m a superficial blogger. I like to ask neat little questions and pretend that my fluffy answers are really deep.

“Why?”

I don’t know.  Like my survivor friend, when it comes to this, I can’t even form questions beyond single words. I just know that we have a growing problem, and all this gun talk is distracting people from the real issue.

When I was a kid in school we didn’t have mass murders in school. We had bullies. We had violence. We even had students with guns. They were rare, but yes, they existed. Gun laws were lax, but we didn’t need Annie Oakley teaching music.

“SING!”

So what’s different? Our teachers smoked. Our students didn’t have cell phones. Beyond that, I’ve got nothing.

I can say that people generally aren’t that creative. We repeat what we see. After Columbine, we had a new blueprint for crazy angst outlets. Then the media provided instant fame for those willing to go the extra mile. Today is Monday and we’re still sorting through what we think we know about what happened Friday. Maybe we give them too much credit.

Remember Chesley Sullenberger? He’s the pilot who saved those people in the Hudson River airplane crash.  Do you know what I remember most about his day of glory? I remember the video footage of all those ships rushing to pull people out of the water: all those nameless boat captains doing what was right. Why didn’t they get more publicity?

We give notoriety for all the wrong reasons.  Most of us will remember Friday’s killer longer than we’ll remember Saturday’s death list.

“Why?”

I don’t know, but that needs to change. My heart goes out to all the parents, the husbands, and the wives of those who were lost and those who survived the Sandy Hook tragedy. I don’t have the answers, but I don’t have an agenda either. I pray that God eases the burden on your heart and that you never know such horror again.

And that’s as deep as this blogger gets.

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