Tuesday

Mondays get a bad rap.  Seriously, other than the first day of the workweek, what’s wrong with Monday?  You know what day slides in under the guise of fair-weather weekday friend while it holds a knife against your back?  Tuesday.

That’s right, Tuesday.

Can you think of a more evil day?  Think on this: Monday ushers in the workweek.  We hate it for that, but usually everybody’s too busy hating Monday to realize how good a day it really is.  I mean everybody’s so busy reminiscing their weekend that if you ground up your boss in a meat grinder, nobody would notice him missing until Tuesday.  Well, nobody but your boss, that is.

Tuesday, everybody is focused on the job, the week and well aware of anyone who stands between them and Saturday.  The target on your back? Yeah, that’s you. Don’t worry too much about it. The meat grinder is still clogged from Monday. That’s the kind of friend Monday is: it’s got your back.

Tuesday morning, on the other hand, has it’s own interests in mind. It also has 4 more days to stretch to the weekend, and Monday’s meat-grinder is starting to stink. That’s gonna make the rest of the week crawl.

No, Tuesday is evil. Ask Wednesday.  Wednesday gets all of Tuesday’s leftovers slammed into its lap, cuz Tuesday everybody says, “I’ve got till Friday.” Tuesday pushes everything back. Tuesday’s a lie, and every other weekday pays for it. 

What’s more, coming out of Monday, we’re happy, we feel like we’ve survived the worst day.  We haven’t, but that’s how we feel.  Tuesday is a precarious balance. If Tuesday your wife gives you an Indian rug burn with her heels before getting out of bed cuz she thinks it’s cute, it not only ruins the rest of the day, it runs the risk of ruining the whole week. Why? Because Wednesday you feel robbed by the rude awakening Tuesday. Now, not only do you dread the same joy Wednesday morning, but your passive aggressive gun is cocked and loaded. It goes off in one big smelly under cover fart makes everything even as soon as you waft the covers. At least until Thursday. Meanwhile Thursday’s going, “Hey, hey, hey! This isn’t my fault!  Do that on somebody else’s day.”

That’s Tuesday.

How do we get around it? I don’t know. It’s Tuesday, and my week is going down quick. I’m still trying to get the boss out of the grinder. aå