Rising to the Occasion

Breaking News: The Twinkie and the Ho Ho may go the way of the Dodo!

That’s right all you maître d's, Hostess is one foot out of the liquidation grave.

Remember all those jokes about Twinkies lasting forever? Lies. Start locking up Suzy Q in your bomb shelter now, cuz there’s a stalemate in the bakery.

I remember as I kid I grew up with a whole host of Hostess products. Not to mention the Hostess side brands like Wonder Bread. You don’t get much more white bread Americana than that.

But in these times Hostess has fallen on hard times.  Bad obesity PR and questions by whole food growers about which plant yields yellow #5 have hindered Hostess’s profit margins. They’ve had to slim down.

It’s the way of all America now. We’re all trimming back. And like many other corporations, Hostess started by cutting back on workers, but here’s the Zinger.

When they tried cutting wages, that cake didn’t rise with the unions. Now there’s nobody working at all, because the union is on strike. The union doesn’t care that if nobody works, the jobs disappear for good: They’ve got Little Debbie on snack food speed dial.

As for the workers…well when Hostess liquidates, they’ll have to stand in a different line: the line of unemployment.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not anti-union.  Unions deserve a Hostess packaged apple pie deal, just like the rest of us. But sometimes you gotta accept a little less filling so you can still have your pie and eat it too.

For now, it looks at Hostess there’s no more pie, and no more Wonder Bread.

Let them eat cake.