Advancing to the Next Level

My parents gave me a video game for Christmas. They're the greatest. They always give me some kind of toy each year. I think they do it to make up for all the socks and underwear when I was a kid. That's alright, I'll let them appease their guilt. This years penance came wrapped in an Amazon.com smile box.

The game is an RPG/quest type game. I always liked these as a kid. Even back in the days of Zork, when there were no graphics.

"It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue."

Yeah, I'm in the middle of a divorce. I've met the grue, and he is us. Zork: grues thieves and Cyclopes, oh my! My parents are more hip than that; they gave me a new game with moving images and everything. I had to replace my old Commodore 64 though...

The game still has a lot of similarities, I mean you still have to collect useless objects and give them purpose. It's a lot like real life in that respect. Especially since MyUnwife left. There are things like our old ugly couch. It hasn't had a real purpose since 2003. I think it's reason for living, the past 2 years anyway, was keeping a wall from looking bare. It's an important job, but can be done by something more aesthetically pleasing, like say a trophy case or a wooden door with strange gothic lettering.

When MyUnwife moved out, the couch gained a new life, an new puprose, a certain joie de vivre. Right after my office chair, and the folding chair at the dinner table, it's my primary seating location. Oh, it's still ugly as sin, but looks aren't everything, and well neither is comfort in the sofa's case. It's simply being there, and being useful. Yeah, my standards have dropped a bit since she left. It's the same way with some cast iron pots my mom gave me when I got my first apartment. I never thought I'd use those. In fact, I think the only reason we still have them is that we forgot to throw them away.

When half my stuff left, I found new purposes for all kinds of useless things I owned. Even more, I found that I needed a new purpose for me. My reasons for being the old me left in a cloud of dust. I didn't have the special trinket to bring them back either.

I could have chased after her wielding my legendary sword, but my homeowners association frowns on that almost as much as pink flamingoes. No, just like encountering the thief in the old Zork games, I just had to let it go, and review my new inventory to see what was left.

In my new life, I gained skills and found skills I didn't know I had. Did you know that if you ask the people at Home Depot where stuff is, they'll tell you? I had no idea; That was always MyUnwife's job. I'm still working out the purpose for maps, but I think I need to advance a few levels first. If I slay a few hundred more dust bunnies, that should give me the points I need...

Now I'm finding I'm changing into a new Rob. Is he better? Worse? I don't know, he's different, but the old Rob was kinda different too—at least that’s what everybody used to tell me. The new Rob is more of a scavenger, but he's a survivor. I'm a tarnished Knight now, but still essentially good. I find I'm more leery about which damsels I save too.

"I'm sorry, I can't save you. There appears to be excessive baggage in your ivory tower. A younger, naive knave should be along shortly though. Have a good afternoon…"

I'm still learning about this Rob. There are things I like, and things I don't, I'm still collecting data. I think I can get him through the game without killing him off though. I think that's important.

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