Soap and Pepper

"Do you want to come?" She wants me to go to a church social function.

I ask you, how can I continue whining about being lonely and alone if people are going to invite me to stuff? It really throws off my "pity me" persona. Do you know how hard it is to exude despair with people hokey-pokeying around you? The cheese stand alone, but apparently Rob's not allowed. Great. Her inviting me isn't that bad; I'd already planned on going. I just wanted to show up uninvited. It seemed more my style. Besides then I could hold it over her head later.

"You didn't invite me."

"I tried."

"Sure you did."

"No really, if the crowd hadn't stopped when you pushed the pastor's wife down, I'd have given you an invite."

"But you didn't did you?"

"Well no, I'm sorry."

"That's better."

I was sort of nervous. This was my first social outing since MyUnwife left. I wasn't sure of the protocol. Did I need to announce my status?

"Hi, I'm Rob, I'm divorcing."

"Hi, I'm Rob, I'm divorcing…."

I made my introductions. Shook hands, smiled, nodded., all the appropriate stuff. Most people were coupled off, so that was kinda awkward. On the other hand it was safe. I didn't have to worry about any kind of set up.

"Rob, this is lonely single girl. You don't have anything in common but you're both alone. Talk about that."

I've been there, but this wasn't that party. This was a bunch of adults discussing life over Dixie cups of beer. I was still the outsider, I didn't know anyone, but I could see a world where that might change. I worry about that. I'm a nice guy, but I'm also an acquired taste, like asparagus or cyanide. Remember Mr. Rogers? Remember the experiment he did with dish soap and ground pepper? He poured a bowl of water, then sprinkled in pepper. After the pepper spread around, he put a few drops of dish soap in, and the pepper fled to the side of the bowl. I am a soapy guy. It's ok, I like me. I'm not gonna turn all peppery just to attract the pepper people, that's not who I am. Sooner or later more soap will show up and we'll both bubble with excitement.

So were my church friends soap or pepper? It's still too early to tell. I hate to admit it, but I had fun. It's really about getting out there.