What's black and white and read all over?
Yeah, I know, we've all heard it thousands of times, just like what I found in my newspaper. There in black and white, most stories I read dealt with the fires all over. We're still talking about them, but it's obvious the embers have gone dark. That's how my life is: Three months after she left, it's about finding obscure things to relate to our divorce. Friends is on TV. She liked Friends. What does that mean? The toilet seat is always up; she always forgot to do that!
Everything is measured against the bar of "was" Is it because I don't know how to grasp "is" without comparing it to something old? Am I over-analytical? Do I ask too many questions? She thought I did. See? There it is again. I'm ok with the divorce, I've made my peace, but why do I continue to sift through the ash? What am I looking for? Answers? Even my dog knows they aren't there. He's just accepted I'll be his waiter this evening, and wags his tail accordingly.
Ben Franklin said that one move equaled one fire. Left-eye Lisa proved that moving on equaled one house fire too. Me, I just want out of here with all my limbs intact. Time heals all wounds but what gets rid of the phantom twitch of amputated limbs? Does it ever go away? I don't want burden my future wife with shell shock from a previous relationship.
He just woke up screaming her name over and over.
What did you do?
I held the pillow over his face until he stopped.
Problem solved. Maybe time will kill the constant divorce association, maybe it'll be the love for somebody else. The desire to not burden her with my past mistakes. The desire to keep her from gritting her teeth at the mere mention of MyUnwife's name. Heck, whoever my future brings, I'm sure she'd like MyUnwife. Ok, not really, but without me, I think she would. Maybe after everything is finalized I should ask MyUnwife to introduce me to her friends. I loved her, therefore I should like people she likes. I could even give her the gore about our dates, and her friend's need to call me "daddy" during sex. I think MyUnwife would like that.
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