"What about the in-laws?"
Somebody asked me that the other day. They wanted to know about in-law etiquette. No, don't go looking it up, it was one of the voices in my head. They haven't started posting yet. They should though. They have some great insight.
For this, I'll fall back on the words my father told me. I asked him the same question about my grandparents after Dad's divorce. Pappy Blogwriter said, "Son, you can divorce the woman, but you don't divorce her family." From his tone of voice, I couldn't tell if this was a good or bad thing. For little Robby Blogwriter it was a great thing. Mom's parents were great with gifts. They gave me my first Mickey Mouse watch and lots of money over the years. For old man Blogwriter, It kind of sounded like he'd beat the death penalty, but was still serving multiple life sentences. "They're always family" That's what he said, but to the best of my knowledge he never spoke with them again. Must be distant family.
I have a friend who had a great relationship with the in-laws, but when the divorce came down, the family circled the wagons and shut him out. Even child visitation transactions took place out on the homestead driveway, about as personal as drive thru teller. Although I should say this: As a kid, I could see where one of those vacuum money chutes made kid size would have been cool.
"Gramma! Dad's here."
Whoosh!
Awesome!
For those of you readers who only remember ATM drive thrus. You missed something cool. Please pull up to the next window.
So I really don’t know. I know the theory, but I've never seen it work in practice. (In-law relations, not the money chute. I know how that worked.) I don't know why the voice in my head even bothered asking, it's not a question I'll have to deal with.
I never met MyUnwife's family. I suppose that should have been a red flag from the beginning, but I thought they just weren't tight knit. It happens. I didn't realize she was the lose strand unraveling the whole fabric.
Sorry, bitter moment. I think I'm going to start subsidizing those.
"This bitter moment brought to you by Jack Daniel's. Nothing brings a family together like a quart of Jack and an ER lobby."
I did meet her father, once. He stopped by to see who his daughter had married. I think it was about a year after the wedding. He seemed nice enough.
Her sister lives in The Northwest. We stay in the Southwest. Pretty simple. See? I told you they were close. Actually MyUnwife was phone-close to her sister, but neither one seemed eager to visit the other. The problem with sisters is that they know where all the bodies are buried. When you're dragging around a significant other, that's not kind of information you want dropping out over chardonnay and gouda.
Her mom disappeared shortly after the wedding. I don't mean as in "Watch the next episode of Without a Trace" disappeared. I mean more like "I'm tired of you knowing where I live" disappeared. It was kind of funny, we used to joke about taking trips to find her.
"I think she's in Vegas!"
"Let's go look."
"Somebody said they saw her in Rio!"
"We're there!"
"My cousin called, they think she's in Lompoc."
"Well, she may actually be there. We wouldn't want to disturb her."
Let's face it, sometimes we'd all like our family to disappear for a little while. I did, but I'm the one who had to vanish; they wouldn't leave the house. So, when I turned 18 I moved to DC and took up a life of retail.
In-laws are easier to shake than that, you may not even need to move, unless there are kids involved. Then you're gonna need witness protection to get away, and even then you're probably not shaking them. Friendly or not, take my advice on this: They are still family, never cross them. Nothing unites a dysfunctional family like a common enemy. Sometimes it's better just to smile and pay the bribe.
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