"Woe Is Me…."-Hurt

So lets run the list for the weekend:

AC not working.

1 lamp (of the 2 MyUnwife didn't take) Broken.

Good cereal bowl, broken.

Last set of collar stays: Lost in the wash.

Yeah, even my blender betrayed me. The bottom loosened and I lost shake out the bottom rather than pouring out the top. Which is the time honored, flow direction for a blender..

Very funny blender. I can't wait until April fools day.

So I'm swimming in self pity, too bad the waters aren't cooling. No, it's more like bathing in warm broth. Mmmmm. Did I mention I work the holiday too? Sure go ahead add that to the soup. I'm sure I've got some other leftovers keep reading we'll drop them in as we go along.

I went to church yesterday. I figured I'd bring this stack of stuff to the source, find out what the deal really is. I saw the brochure, I would like my milk and honey right now thank you. Says on the cover "Paradise." I'm done with the "suffering" page. Give me a little paradise, thank you. While your at it, I'd like something gnu. I don't really care what; antlers, pelt, life, whatever, just make it gnu

A woman, I know played door greeter at church Sunday. She asked the typical greeter question.

"How are things?" Except, unlike most greeters, I could tell she meant it. I pulled out my list. Did I want to go alphabetically, chronologically, order of importance, random..? I could probably make page ten by communion, but I really didn't want to hold up the line. I think other's think it's rude.. I think it's something I'll add to the soup.

Others don't understand me.

I knew she understood a little, she meant my divorce so I stuck with her topic, to save time.

"I'm ok, she moved out at the beginning of the month." It's been a while since I've seen this woman, I wasn't sure if she knew that much or not.

She grabs my shoulder, "But you're ok, right?"

"Yeah. I'm good." Touch? What is that...

"Well if you need us, you call us." I don't really have either her or her husbands phone number, but I did appreciate her concern.

I offered the appropriate follow up question, "So how are you?"

"Well, I'm better, thanks…"

Better?

"…pegnant. I'm no longer sitting back here ready to throw up." She smiled.

I did what I had to do. I grabbed her shoulder, looked her in the eye and said, "You know I don't really care, right? I was just asking to be nice. Look, I've got my own problems, and you being pregnant has nothing to do with me. I've got my good book of bitches and moans, and you better not be taking up my God time today with your 'pregnancy.'"

She blinked. "What?"

So I repeated, "I'm sorry I haven't seen you in a bit. I didn't even know you were pregnant. Congratulations!"

Yeah, I'd have never said the first thing. I felt really petty anyway for having my own problems. She didn't look pregnant. How long has this been going on? Is the baby ok? She doesn't look pregnant... I normally notice these things with people. I pick up on moods, I catch when things are wrong; I look for things I can help with. I never even noticed with her. Problems I can't help with bother me. No really, I take them personally even though, by definition, they aren't mine, personally.

How many other people have I missed lately? How many people needed help while I was whining about my divorce? I've been staring at my untied shoes while women and children are getting noogies and having their candy kicked in the dirt. Yeah, that's women ending with fuzzy heads, and children left with the fuzzy end of the lollipop. Thought I'd clarify. My thoughts are unraveling.

The sermon today was all about the dinner party parable. You know where the host moves people around, moving some people closer, and other people back. I thought about how my problems moved me forward in my own mind. I know, it's such a thin reference, but God guides our thoughts if we let him. It's obvious I haven't let anybody do anything in my head. It a mess. I should be less concerned about what's wrong in my life; try working it out through helping others.

Why not? All I find is abyss when I look inward. Problems within problems, swirling in winds of chaos. It's easy to get lost. To fall in and be swept away. I can't allow that. I should setting up guard rails, keeping others from getting swept away.

That reminds me, I've got to get back and give blood. I think I'll go in on my vacation.

After church I came home, started the washer, and moved some clothes into the dryer. Clearing the lint trap, I found my collar stays. I think life's looking up.

****

Quick addendum. Keep your eye's open! Coming mid-September another website will start posting their favorite posts from my blog. What's this mean to you, my dear reader? Well a few things.

1. There will be real divorce advice and commiseration available within a back-click from my whiny fluff.
2. You can open 2 windows; one of this site, and one of the other, and cross your eyes. A secret 3D picture will appear. Could be a boat, could be an ocelot, you'll just have to check it out and see.

So where is this mystical site? Well in cyber limbo for now, but it should be up by mid month. As I know more, so will you. I know what you're saying "But Rob you know so much already! How could you possibly know more?" Well my friends, I may have to sacrifice how to tie my shoes to fit it in, but for you, I'll do it.

So, keep your eyes pealed! Well, no. Better make it peeled, can't have people with singing eyeballs hanging around. Then again "Peeled" as in what I do with a banana? Who wants to do that with eyes. What makes "peeled" so "grate?"

Sorry, it's Monday. Happy Holiday everybody! Enjoy your friends, love your family, and stay cool and safe.