GAAAAAAH! pt2

It's a stupid thing. I know even now as I rage inside my head, it is a stupid thing. But if I'm getting divorce over stacked up stupid things, then I am damn well allowed an unreasonable tantrum over the pile of stupid things set before me!


Daily, I wander through the house, find things I need, find things that can wait, find things that I'm just glad she took.

Then there's today. I went in the kitchen to see if she took the crock pot. It was hers, no biggie if it was gone, just curious if I want a new one. It's gone.

Ok.

Thats when I spot the abomination. There's this little white plastic mutation sitting where my old blender was stored. It's this Hamilton Beach thing, 3 buttons, looks like it may hold 4 cups, plastic and covered in weird cakey ook that's older and more settled than my little sister.

That's not my blender. My blender I bought in 1989. I was single, it was an all black Oster with a glass jar and 12 speeds, all adding up to rocking good news. Drinks, sauces, pastes. You needed it, it made it.

This thing? I don't think it even works.

Now I didn't bitch about the hand mixer. We bought that. Whatever. I didn't even care that she left me with this weird $2 ebay thing that I've never seen before to replace it. In fact, I smiled when I discovered that she took the mixer thingies that go with my "new" $2 special. (what do you call those? blades, attachemts, wisks...I don't know. What ever you call them, you can also call them gone, 'cuz I don't have them!) I have a square piece of plastic that makes noise when you flip a switch. Woo hoo. I logged into Amazon and bought a new one. Not a great one, but one that at least...well...mixes.

So what did I do about the blender? I emailed her:

Subject: So uhm hey...

Why did you take the blender I bought before going to college and leave me with the one [Unnamed Friend who you're not talking to] any more gave you?

Just curious.

Yeah, I'm ferocious. But what am I going to do? Throw a hissy over a blender that lasted longer, worked better, and was more reliable than MyWife?

Oh, I seem to have dripped a little bitter on me. It burns...

No, it's not really a battle worth fighting. If I get it back, "Yea team!" Most likely I won't though. I think the 2 things that bother me most about it are:

1. She'll never use it. In all the time we were married, she never touched the blender. It fell on my specialty list.
2. My Email. She'll know taking the blender pissed me off, and take great glee in it. Yes, that's right. Work it out, I already know it. I'm pissed because she'll know I'm pissed. I'm a special guy.
   

Sigh...take away one point from "Friendly Divorce" and give it to the "Passive Aggressive" side.

I'm going to miss my blender.

Goodbye Old Yeller...