I just got back. So I bet you're all wondering how I feel?
I'm wondering the same thing. I'm numb really. I dunno. It's like when you amputate a dead appendage, you still miss it. It takes a bit to get used to it not being there.
She's been dead to me for so long, now I need to get used to her physical absence as well.
I'm not really sure at the moment. I'll post more when I am.
I threw this together, see If you like it…
Ba-BAM!
Concussion.
No pain-no violence.
Just ringing silence
Cessation,
And numb.
-RB
Oh…and here are some before and after pics.
5 comments:
When mine moved out, I actually missed him even more. While he had been holed up in the second bedroom, being completely antisocial, angry and uber-secretive...his physical presence gone made the emotional vacuum seem more acute.
See, and this is different. I feel guilty, because I'm not sure that it's "Her" I miss. I miss someone, but is that just the presence of somebody who loves me, or is it her? The last eight months have been like a disaster drill here. As soon as she said "If I can't stop hating you..." I threw everything I needed into the fallout shelter and prepared for the end. Each day waving goodbye to things I loved about the woman I married; the things I might never see again; each day rationing morphine memories to numb the pain caused by the MyWife, who'd taken MyLoves's place. Each day doubting if the woman I loved even existed. Until at last we reach this point.
whacha say? that you only meant well? well of course you did...
Now it's like I'm stepping out of the shelter, to take stock, to see what's real, to reconstruct. I'm hurt, but I'll heal. As surely as I know she's gone, I know who I am, and that I'm a survivor.
Ok, now it's getting heavy, I feel like I'm gonna burst into Gloria Gaynor songs any minute now.
Gloria Gaynor?! She has my theme song, but I'll share. ;) I know what you mean about not being sure it's her you miss. I'm not sure what I'm going to miss here either. I know it's something but I'm not sure who or what it is. But I'm a surviver and luckily for me, I'm moving so I won't have to see the emptiness left behind, which in reality wouldn't be any more empty than what was here before.
You're a survivor? That's not Gloria Gaynor, that's Destiny's Child!
Although...check the mirror If you've got slit eyes, then it's "The eye of the tiger." You're the band, Survivor. ;)
There ya go, Humor, the best medicine!
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