Titanic Relationships.

Man some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. What's more, I'll even suggest that it's never a good idea to get out of bed before 11am. A man's gotta have his standards, without them he's nothing, right?

Yeah, the crashing sound you hear is my standards flying out the window, because I was up at 8am this morning. See, we all have relationships. Some we maintain because they build us up, others we maintain because we have to. Most relatives fall under the latter. That's ok, cuz I know I fall on that list sometimes too. I've seen the look in Uncle Ben's eyes whenever I drop by.

"Quick, hide all the rice, it's Rob and he looks hungry."

It all balances out.

So when in a relationship do you say "uh, hey, this is no longer worth the trouble?" I had a roommate once, I decided we were done about the time he left me with the $500 phone bill to his ex wife in Japan. If I ever see him again, I'll let him know.

Other relationships aren't so easy. You want to make it work, but every time you swallow it down, your stomach gets queasy. What if the relationship is an obligatory relationship? How do you justify saying, "look, you know how when you pluck the wings off a fly, he squeaks in pain? When we're together, you make me squeak."

I've got one of those relationships. I've had it for a while, 9 years to be exact, and I'm at a point where I don't know what to do. Is it worth going on? Today I had a long chat with my boss about our feelings.

No I didn't start with the fly thing. I find it's best I don't have to pry him from the ceiling like an over excitable cat in a Velcro room. I started small.

"Hello."

Sometimes that's all it takes. I don't want to sound like I'm the only one dissatisfied with the relationship. He set up a conference call so that we could share our grievances. Ok, share is a strong word, but I sound like a disgruntled employee if I swap "we" and "share" with "he" and "freak out over."

WRRREEERRWWW!

Rrriiiipppp.

That's me pulling him down.

I knew this call was coming. I knew yesterday. This was our talk. I like knowing. It gives me time to prepare. It gives me a chance to pull myself off the ceiling while wondering why I put this crap up here to begin with.

In 9 years my job has changed. So have I. We've grown apart. It wants things from me that I don't want to give, and it demands so much time that I don't have any time for myself. Right now I'm hiding in my closet to do my blog. Shhhh. I told it I was downloading audio. If it hears you, it'll get suspicious. My job is very suspicious.

I could go on with the bad things about my work. My boss went on about the bad things about his Rob. Some of them were even true. It's hard to accept that, let alone admit it. So why have I stayed so long?

Because despite the ball and chain wrapped around my leg and office chair, it does allow me certain freedoms. I love to write. It’s a relationship I cherish. When I can share my bad day with somebody and they continue to read past "Man, some days…" that's cool. It's even cooler when they say, "Yeah, I know what you mean." It draws us closer. Writing is a relationship that shares. My job gives me the ability to work writing into my day. I may not get anything else, but I do get to write.

The question is, "how important is that relationship?" It would be so easy to staple my boss to the roof while he's already up there and leap out the window. I mean lets face it, I'm in a divorce! What can they do by firing me that hasn’t already been done? If I'm gonna clean the slate, I might as well do it with bleach.

What's more important, my relationship or my pride?

"What? No, I don't have anything to add. We'll work this out, together..."