A Sheet's Shred of Dignity

"it's better than a bucket of water!" That's the kid on TV.

Tell me about it. That's Me. Some days you just have to be thankful for what you get. I've had those birthday's too. I'm responding because nobody on screen seems to understand that this kid is all excited about a handheld mirror. This kid needs an iPod, or at least a ball on a string attached to a paddle.

I don't know what I'm watching. It's some sword and sorcery flick on Sci-Fi. That sucks, because it means that the kid's never gonna get that iPod. Maybe next year he'll get Hasbro's Lump of Coal instead of another Wonka bucket of water. We'll see. Maybe he should stick his head in the bucket and hold his breath.

I don't have time to worry about blue boy though. I'm running a little late with work, and I'm a little grumpy. It seems that I never really caught up from after the jury duty thing. I'm thinking 2 hours of sleep in a row right now sounds better than all the handheld mirrors paving the way to Narcissus' Castle.

Friday I tried to catch up my sleep. I never made it. I had to make up for all the things I couldn't do while sitting in jury duty. Saturday, I wanted to catch up on my sleep. I never made it. Work kept me up late and then a friend called at Midnight. It seems that all life's great problems crash around us sometime after 10pm. We just don't know it until 12:01am.

My friend knew it. They also knew I worked until 2am. So I spent a few hours explaining Tetris and how the little "T" shapes are necessary. I also helped her with other problems without sleep. Don't get me wrong. I really don't mind. It's what I do. Still I hope she ran my advice through the sleep speech filter. Otherwise I think her boyfriend is gonna have trouble getting the high horse off his lawn.

I missed church Sunday. I was still playing catch up. I missed something else too. Remember I said I bought new sheets for after the divorce? Yeah, well I missed that. Sunday, I was pulling the sheets off the bed to wash, and I guess I pulled too hard. Instead of 1 cal king sheet I had 1 full and 1 strip slightly bigger than a twin.

I was angry. I was tired. I needed to get my sheet together. You know how tired I was? Well the last joke should have been a clue, but here, try this. I was actually considering buying new sheets tired. Yeah. With good sheets in the linen closet I was thinking, "I guess I'll have to get down to Target and grab some cheap ones to use until the 25th."

See, that's one of the things that was great abut MyUnwife. She'd have let me mull that over, but would have stopped me before I grabbed the car keys.

"Where are you going?"

"To get new sheets."

"Uhm, what about the ones in the closet?"

"Those are for later."

"They won't fit on the bed now?"

"Well, yeah…oh, yeah. Thanks."

"Don't mention it. Oh, I got you a special present too. It's in the kitchen."

"Really! Oh boy! Hey! You got me a bucket of water! Thanks, babe. You're the greatest."

"It's just an early birthday present."

See. I kind of miss that. I miss having help with all the difficult decisions. I miss somebody who knows when Rob's brain is somewhere off the coast of Nova Scotia and can ride the wave until it returns. Cuz left on my own when I'm tired, I'm confused by yellow and blue logic of zip lock baggies.

Still, by the grace of God I managed yesterday. I found that one and one equals one. A pair that is. And that's what I needed in sheets. Well actually I needed a set, but that's what I had! I threw away the old sheets and pulled the new set out of the closet.

It's not what I'd planed on doing. I wanted to wait, but I've been through divorce, so now I'm pretty good at doing things I hadn't planned, and figuring out how to get past them. I'm learning to modify my life to fit the circumstance, since some circumstance won't modify to fit my life.

It's part of the challenge. But for every challenge survived, there's a reward. For some it's wet hair and a bucket of water. For me it was a good nights sleep on soft sheets. I think I won this one.