Confectionary Strip

A 19 year old in her underwear was abusing traffic. That's what the article said. I reread it, because I didn't get it. Maybe you do.

See this is where I came in. This morning's divorce news contained a story about a girl who'd gotten so fed up with her divorce that she took off her cloths and stood in traffic. She was mad as hell and wasn't going to dress for it anymore.

She wasn't completely naked, just down to her underwear. Still, I have to wonder. The article said she "abused" traffic. A 19 year old naked girl? Really? Abusing traffic? That sounds like the complaints of a married man to his wife in the car.

"She's abusing my eyes!"

"Sure she is dear. Keep you're eyes on the road."

"I must phone-in this terrorist act to the police."

"Yes dear, be sure to use your new camera phone, otherwise they won't believe you. Oh look, she's taking her bra off."

"Where?"

"The road dear. The road."

Abuse? Ok, I suppose. Or maybe she was attacking cars? It still doesn't seem effective, especially since she's standing in her underwear. No heels, no utility purse filled with WMDs what's she gonna do? Throw mood swings? Fire bust shots?

"…I looked over and Bam! There were breasts in my window. Oh the horror! I was just driving to work. The world has become a bad, bad place."

I'm having trouble with the abuse. Disturbed, yes. Abusive, no. I read it was her landlord who called the cops. Now if he did this, (and yes it was a he, the paper referred to him as "he") it either means he was stalking his tenant or she did this right out in front of her own house. I guess that does explain the "abuse." You don't strip where you live. Ask any pole dancer. The pay is always better when you do it for strangers. Mom and Dad aren't as quick to drop $20s in the G-String, or so I've heard. Mine wouldn't even come and watch me dance.

What? It was college. I needed the money.

And that's why you need to go somewhere outside the norm: if you do it at home, everybody get's complacent.

"Look, it's Bambi next door again."

"Yeah, I saw that while I was getting the paper. Did you notice the Wilson's have a new sprinkler system?"

"No! Automatic?"

It's easy to divorce yourself from the situation. It's all been done before.

The landlord told the police that she'd been divorced for a month. It was unclear which came first: the crazy or the divorce, but the article was leaning towards the crazy. Crazy can be good. It does fight the complacency.

See complacency is the enemy. When everything becomes "just the neighbor girl stripping in traffic again," that’s a red flag. What if Lady Godiva had only received a lawn yawn? Where would we get our fine chocolate? Whitman Samplers? I think not! And don't expect Russell Stover to climb on that high horse either. He's not a bareback kind of guy.

Complacency is the sugar free confection. Only the sweet stuff becomes tasteless and blah. The bitter bile continues to eat away your stomach. Complacency strips away all the good things that used to keep the bile down. Without it, it's all coming back up.

Because if you strip us down, we're just creatures looking for comfort, something sweet and something more--some way to make ourselves better. If we aren't getting better, then we look for ways to strip back to the original, or explode into something new. Sort of shrapnel butterflies I guess.

It happens to a lot of people. According to the news article, this girl was woman-three to do the car-tune strip. Woman three? Why doesn't that happen in my neighborhood? Complacency or not, somebody just give me a chance to get bored! Why didn't M. Night Shyamalan film about this happening? That's an R rating I could have gotten behind. Right now it's just me stripping on my lawn, and that my friends is abuse.