Gasp! Sputter! Gasp!
I’ve spent the last three days without wi-fi! Gaahhh!!!! It’s like holding my breath underwater! I’m a mute singer, lame dancer yearning to yammer prance my experiences.
It’s been three days of visiting family and hard driving. A lot of nothing has gone on and I need to convey every syllable of it. And here you are, ready to read. Aren’t you lucky? I’ll catch you up as fast as I can.
I wish I could have gotten this written and out sooner, but sometimes things don’t go the way you plan. On a road trip, that’s almost all the time. That’s why a trip like this can be the true test of a couple. You set two tired and cranky individuals in a car and then make them work together, and it’s nothing but fierce yowls and flying fur, and I don’t mean that in a good way.
So let me take a breath, and I’ll get you back on the road with Rob and the Queen. After the St. Louis cat caper, our next stop was Oklahoma City. Yeah, don’t let the old song fool ya, it really didn’t look “oh-so pretty.” It did have a clean motel with a pool though and that made it our I-40 oasis.
We pulled in around 6:30, local time. That’s one hour behind Pirate time and 2 hours ahead of Rob time. Although we came from different time zones, we could agree on one thing: we were tired of sitting in a car with a mewing cat. She hadn’t stopped showing her displeasure since her little game of hide and seek.
We checked in, and the PQ had a great idea. We should order pizza, and then wait for it in the swimming pool.
“Brilliant!”
“Thank you.”
It was her plan, so it was my job to implement it. The motel was supposed to have wi-fi. Our room didn’t. We were next to the pool, so maybe it had something to do with water emanations, or chlorine contamination, or maybe our travel stars weren’t aligned. Either way, I couldn’t order online.
Not a problem, I could order the old fashioned way: by phone. That’s what I thought anyway.
Ring-ring!
Ring-ring!
We’re watching the local news. I’ve seen the complete Oklahoma City sports and weather.
“We don’t have sports and it’s gonna be hot.”
Ring-ring!
Ring-ring!
I hang up. No big deal. I have an iPhone. I’m a web savvy horse limping to the Internet glue factory. There’s an app for that.
Neigh!
Well I thought I could. It appears our closest pizza place has created a special web site that recognizes cell phones. If you log in using your phone, it pulls up the site quickly, but it’s limited on functionality. What that meant to my queen and I, was that I could have a pizza delivered to my home, but not a hotel in Oklahoma City. I’m sure Persephone wouldn’t mind, if she could just fit her paws around the doorknob.
“Mew, mew. Catnip and anchovy pizza, my favorite!”
I’m not thwarted. I know I can order pizza. All I need to do is find the motel wi-fi. It’s a game. It’s hidden like a motel Easter egg. We can hop in the car, and drive around with my laptop until we pick up a signal.
“You know, Rob, while we’re in the car, we could just drive to the pizza place and pick one up, right?”
“No we can’t. I’m on a mission!”
She’s heard the tone before. She knows better than to fight the wave, it’s better to just ride it out. That’s right, call me Ahab. I’m hunting the white whale pizza with extra pepperoni!
We climb into the car. All we have to do is back the car up and I have signal! WOO HOO! I click the browser button and my screen reads, “PLEASE ENTER YOUR ULTRA-SECRET SUPER LONG HOTEL WI-FI CODE AND REMEMBER, DRINK OVALTINE.”
“I don’t have the code. Do you have the code?”
“They didn’t give me one when I checked in.”
“Curse you, wi-fi fates!”
The queen sit’s quietly for a second then says, “Let’s go back in the room and try something.”
“Fine.” I’m disgruntled. I wanted food dropped at my feet, but now it looks like I’ll need pick it up first before I drop it. Willing to try anything, I follow my queen into the room.
She picks up her cell phone and dials the same number I’d tried dialing earlier.
“Hi, I’d like to order a pizza.”
I don’t know how she got through, but she did. Sometimes that’s just the dynamic. One person is all luck and grace, the other is Clark Griswald. Yeah, we know my role today. Do I get grumpy because she didn’t have to go through all he effort? Of course I do, but I keep it to myself. The reality is, we’re a team, and maybe I didn’t get to be the big hero this time. Maybe I went to all the effort and came back with rent clothing and bitter dissapointment.
Still, I do get a pizza delivered in 30 minutes, and I get to wait for it in the pool. I’m ok with swallowing my inner grump for that.
No comments:
Post a Comment