"I love the smell of lip balm in the morning."
No, that's not quite it. Wet palm? Wet dog? Left Palm? I dunno. I don't love the smell of anything in the morning. I'm not a real fan of morning, period. That's why when The Pirate Queen tells me she's always cheerful in the morning, I want to hide under the covers.
"Just slip the coffee under the blanket. I'll be out when I'm ready."
Yeah, I like to ease into my day. You know, sort of like sneaking up on a bull before jumping on it's back. The Pirate Queen is more of the "Hi, Bull, Avast and prepare to be boarded!" kinda gal.
Luckily the day has a good 18 hours left so that we can meet somewhere in the middle. In those hours, we seem to do just fine, except we're also in the morning of our relationship. And then there's the distance…
"I had so much fun visiting you! I’m moving to California!"
"Uh, what?" This is Rob spitting coffee all over his monitor.
"Yeah, I found a job, so I'm moving!" it says between dark brown drips, "Oh, and good morning!"
Ok, that's not the way it really happened. Still it was really quick, just like that, only different. One minute she was in Detroit lamenting the distance over cell phone bills, and the next she was out here visiting. Now one thing I love about the Pirate Queen is she's really industrious, even on vacation. While she was here, she managed to work in an interview. We spent a day in downtown LA looking at the sights.
"This is a parking garage, and that's a sour attendant. They're everywhere around here. Across the street, That's a Starbucks..."
Next thing I know, she's got a legitimate job offer, and is looking for apartments. I'm still sipping my morning coffee trying to find the humor in Heathcliff. It ain't happening.
"Yeah, I know he's a cat, but why is that funny?"
I don't get it. Nothing is funny before noon. In our relationship, I'm thinking we're still at 7:30am. Everything is still new and fresh, and the girl with the sun's halo lighting her hair is still early and exciting in our day. We aren't to the 1pm, "Yeah, I've heard that story before" phase. And trust me, She'll know when she gets to that phase; I might as well write for TV I have lots of repeats.
Can we make it past lunch? I don't know. I'm old and ornery. My track record isn't that great, but still this angel seems to think I'm worth the effort. That says something about her, doesn't it, even if it's, "boy she's groggy in the morning, huh?"
Groggy or not she's excited and motivated. She's planning. Yeah, I'm planning too. I'm planning on helping her move. I'm planning a route across the country. I'm planning on helping her pick an apartment. I'm planning on welcoming her into my world. And I'm planning All this before the crack of noon.
That's the thing about personal time tables. We plan them, we set them up, and then God shuffles them around and says, "No, this is how it's gonna be." I'd planned that the Pirate Queen and I would get to know each other through a series of trips a brunch, and maybe a pre noon nap. Now it's looking like we're learning each other up close and personal before either of us gets our make-up on.
"We'll get to date like normal people!" She chirps.
I don't chirp. I don't really date. I haven't dated "like normal people" since my 20s. She promises to take it easy on me and show me how it's done. I hope so, because I think she's amazing, especially with the morning halo. I guess we'll just ease into the rest of the day after a morning of excitement, right?
Here's the thing: after the divorce nightfall, I didn't know if I wanted to face a new day. I mean, yeah, I knew that I was better as a team, but for all my bravado, I wasn't sure if I wanted to put out that kind of effort. I'm not a morning person. I'm an afternoon sipping tea kinda guy. Yet I have to admit, it's nice to know that somebody can bring out the better parts of me, even when I want to be surly.
So The Pirate Queen is moving out here, and yeah, I'm all excited. We'll continue through the morning and see where the day takes us.
There is one thing that's a true test of a relationship: a road trip. Yup. Everybody needs one. Nothing will wake you up to person your with like being trapped in an aluminum box for 5 days with just yourselves, a cooler of coke, and a box of Chips Ahoy.
"Yes, I realize the map says Omaha, Dar-ling, but the road sign we passed just said Philidelphia. I'm just saying we may be a little off…"
A cross country trip will either make you a better team, or put somebody in the trunk. Either way, it's splash of caffeine and a big green sign saying "Welcome!" Heck, all we need is to add a pet and we'd have a tequila sunrise.
The Pirate Queen is bringing her cat.
Napalm in the morning! That's what it is! Yeah, we're gonna have some fun. Wish us luck.
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