New Year’s resolutions. Despite how I feel on the topic, I went ahead and made one: find my dog. Yeah. That’s about as resolution resolute as I get. I mean most resolutions are bong fumes of hope meant to get high on self-empowerment and self-enrichment.
I mean nevermind that there’s a whole lot of self-stroking going on here, there’s no substance, no plan, no meat. Resolutionists are setting themselves up for failure. Even I can do that. I resolve to marry the girl I took to the Christmas semi-formal in high school. There. Now I’m going to fail.
Ok, and wouldn’t it be really creepy if she called…
Giving up food drink and cigarettes never work because we plan for the moment. We take the hottest fad and shape it to our immediate needs. Bob Smith’s “all you can load into a pig intestine diet” may sound like the swine’s oink right now, but once you lose the weight cuz your choking on the diet, what’s do you do next?
Cheesecake Party!
See that’s the thing with resolutions. They’re short. Snack resolutions won’t work. Try changing the way you eat for the rest of your life. If you can stomach that, and make it a part of your everyday, you can succeed. That’s what it means to be resolute.
Bob Smith had a resolution: Make money. He’ll thank you with his next book “The Emperor’s New Diet and Other Ways to Get Rich Quick.” He had a plan, and he followed through. Of course his plan was easy: Get others to follow.
Maybe my resolution should be to spread optimism throughout the blogosphere. Yeah, better stick to one I can complete. I resolve you’ll have appropriate amounts of Rob cheer in blogs to come. Yup, there go my 2 readers.
That’s why my resolution is to find my dog. I have a plan. Oh I might fail, but I will do all that I can. I have a leash. I have some snacks. The rest is up to God. Cosmo will be back.
It’s funny. My resolution was going to be: start my long walks again. I used to make 9-mile walks once a month. I haven’t done that since September. Things just got in the way. This year I resolved to ignore all obstacles. Then my dog disappeared.
Seems I tripped over that one; so much for that resolution. I might as well have given up swearing. Cuz I did plenty of that too.
Still, by the end of the day, I found that I’d kept my original resolution—sort of. See I didn’t make 9 miles, but I can assure you that all the hours I spent walking around calling his name, that added up to at least 6 of 9. It’s not perfect, but the year has to start somewhere.
Next step in any resolution is to plan it out. How will you accomplish your goal? In my case, well, I did the walking. I put up posters. Phase 2 is to visit the animal shelter, and do more canvassing.
One thing you have to be careful of in resolutions is to avoid being sidetracked. I considered calling MyEx. I didn’t call her, and no, it wasn’t out of spite. She loves Cosmo as much as I do, and I would tell her, but right now what can she do? She can worry, but I promise, I’ve got that aspect covered. I’m doing all the worry Cosmo needs. Extra worry doesn’t help. In fact, it can be a distraction.
I’ve seen horror movies. The guy who worries about the thing coming through the door gets eaten by the thing coming through the wall. With my luck it’ll be somebody on the pig intestine diet.
Nope. I opted out. I’ll call her when things are more concrete. At least let me check the shelter first. I don’t need more obstacles.
Divorce can be an obstacle. Even though it’s been over a year since I worked on a plan with MyEx, I still remember how things work with more people. If she were here, one of us would wait at home with a ready pet and treat, while the other person combed the street, cell phone in hand. We’d be in constant contact calling out map coordinates and marking pushpin dog sightings. Now, it’s just me, I don’t have the same resources.
It’s fine; it’s just a different strategy. It’s all about being dogged in my doggy quest. That I am. I’ve already been out twice today, and did some of my blogging sitting in front of my garage, just in case he wandered by.
Cosmo is my resolution.
I know you have yours. Don’t be embarrassed. I see Bob’s book under your arm. I’m not even hurt that your sizing me up for intestine as I type. The real point is: if you’ve made a resolution, keep it. Don’t set yourself up to fail; it’ll only lower your self-image. If you’ve been through a divorce, why would you need to lower that anymore? No, once you’ve made a resolution, keep it. Make a plan and set some goals. Make realistic ones.
Whatever your resolution make it for yourself and make it stick. As for myself, I’ve got to go. I’ve got a dog to find.
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