Wii're Back!

Reoccurring characters. That's what's great about TV. You know, the people who are like houseguests on your favorite shows? They drop by you laugh, and next week, they're gone. No fuss, no muss, no unmade beds and odd odors. You know, how Erkle was before he got annoying?

That's what my blog lacks these days: reoccurring characters. And no, not an Erkle. Nobody needs one of those. I have nightmares where my dreamgirl is being absconded by an army of Erkles and Cousin Olivers. Oh the horror.

That's probably why I don't have reoccurring characters. It's one of many areas where my blog lacks, thank you all for pointing those shortcomings. Please keep your lists to yourself for now. Right now we're concentrating on the reoccurring character aspect; We'll work on Rob's character later.

Many have tried, many have failed.

See I think that’s what everybody needs. Somebody who appears in your life more than once. Somebody you can have an ongoing conversation with. Sort of like a running joke type thing.

Right now I'm going to start small and work my way up. Today I'd like to bring back my Wii. That's right "Wii's back," and that's not even improper English! I just had a friend ask me about my Wii. Since they're unwilling to be a reoccurring character, I figured I'd give Wii the glory.

In previous episodes of Rob's blog we'd discussed Wii as a workout tool. I mean, that's why I bought it, right? Sure it is, and that's why I'm drooling at the Guitar Hero's in my latest Amazon.com email. Because everybody knows if you want to get in shape, you need to act like a rock star. Just ask Keith Richards, he'll tell ya.

For now, I concentrate on more mundane games, like Wii fit. It's my little Love Boat cuz, When I come on board, they're expecting me, and they're promising something for every one. I'm even greated by my own little Julie, the workout director. I just wish it came with a bartender. That would be cool.

I would like to say this about the Wii board: they didn't create the device for the thin skinned. If you quit at everything else, you'll quit the wii qwikwii.

That's cuz of the subtle "motivators," imbedded in the "game." For example, when they ask me to climb on the board. I obey, and the stupid thing sighs! It sounds like "Oh dear lord, fatty's back!" If I wanted forlorn sarcasm, I'd have bought Marvin the Android from the Hitchiker's Guide.

"Just another day of being stepped on by the man…"

Yeah great. The next thing is, that if you aren't good at something, they don't hesitate to tell you. I don't know how many time's they've called me "unbalanced," and they haven't even read my blog yet!

Bastards!

Then there are the exercises. There's one yoga thing I tried. They call it the "Sun Salutation." Apparently by their standard I'm supposed to greet the day by bending over and grabbing my ankles. Am I the only one who finds that a little pessimistic?

There's also this other exercise. They want me to stand on one leg--and yes, those of you who know me can stop laughing. No I mean it! I haven't even gotten to the good part yet. There's more. I stand on one leg, then the "Coach" blows a whistle, I extend he other leg and reach out my opposite arm like I'm reaching for help. I do that well, but there's nothing there and I usually fall. I fall six times then switch legs. I guess there's healing in pain.

This is difficult enough, but since I have no balance, it's actually worse. See, I'm getting better. I might stand a chance of standing up, if it weren't for the first part of the exercise. That's where the trainer says, "Stand on one leg, now raise your knee. Hold it while we calibrate." The machine then does his countdown, before the exercise even begin so it can find my center of balance while I'm swaying like a reed. I'm already falling off the board before it calibrates. Uhm where is the hope here? Then it blows the whistle and I'm expected to hop like a Pirate, then fall over. Meanwhile, I can look up from the floor at Barbie the sadist trainer as she chirps, "You put your foot down didn't you?"

Yeah, I put my foot down. I'm not doing this crap anymore. How's that for putting my foot down! And sure enough, that works for 24 hours. The video trainer is cute, so I'm back the next day for more/

I always come back. I'm her reoccurring character.

So My Wii and I hare creating our own sit-com. I've stored a laugh track, it's good times. Drop by, say hi and you can be a reoccurring character too, while we have a Wii bit of fun.

Yeah, just like reoccurring characters, the Wii jokes never get old. That's cuz Wii's back!