Love Me!

It’s Valentines Day! Did you get your valentine something special? If you say, “I don’t have a valentine,” slap yourself twice before continuing with this blog.

No, I’m not kidding. Do it.

I can wait all day.

Okay, now harder.

Once more, with feeling.

Okay, that’s better. Here’s the thing. Just because you don’t have some lovelorn fool salivating over your every hip-shimmy, doesn’t mean you don’t have a valentine. First and foremost, you have yourself. That’s right. Now give your valentine a big hug.

No, I’m not kidding. Do it.

I can wait all day.

Okay, now harder.

Once more, with feeling.

Thank you. Now since it’s Valentines Day, I suppose I could tell you all about what I’m doing for the Pirate Queen, and carry about it for a blog self-indulgent “look at me the cool blogger” kind of way. I could, but I won’t. See, I don’t want you to feel like I’m rubbing her in your face. I mean that’s kind of weird, and she’s not into the whole, rubby-rubby thing anyway. So forget it, even if that is what you want.

Some love is private.

So what’s left to talk about on V-Day? Well, we could sip and spin our traditional Kool-Aid cooler topics. Did you watch the Grammy’s? What about that Lady Gaga? What did you make of that pointy-shoulder prosthetic production? Kinda odd, huh? Still, that was her point. Speaking Valentine’s Day language, she’s saying “love me, cuz I was born this way.” Ok, well that’s not really true. I mean, it is what she said, but the fine lady was born a normal coo-coo goo-goo baby. She calculated her evolution into the crazy Gaga icon we see today.

“Look at me and love me! Talk about me! Talk about my egg!”

The PQ and I talk about her eggs, but we don’t put them on the stage for all to see. The intimacy of privacy adds legitimacy to our love. Gaga fans, don’t get me wrong; we all have a closet gaga. Well, I did, but the PQ threw mine out, along with my closet Stevie Nicks. Okay, she didn’t throw out Stevie. She just untied her from the chair and let her go.

“I’m sorry Miss Nicks, Rob isn’t really good at expressing love.

The PQ says there’s only room for one love in our house—and two cats. Our cats would love Gaga. They like anything they can play with. They can’t play with lady Gaga, but I’m sure they’d love to. See Gaga screams, “love me!” but you need to do it from afar. As a public figure, her private time is for self-love.

That’s fine. Don’t get me wrong oh Gaga-ites. She’s ”Born This Way.” I get it. It’s a nice song, and even if we’ve heard the message before (and it sounds uncommonly like Madonna’s “Express Yourself)”, I think it’s good message.

“Love me.”

Some people feel alone and unloved. I’ve felt that way before. It’s a bad place. Especially since we’re so blinded by the need to feel loved that we miss those reaching out with love. Sure, that last person who needs to worry about getting love is Lady Gaga. I’m sure she gets all forms of love in her mailbox every day.

“Uhm yeah, could you move that to the ‘rubber gloves only’ stack, please?”

We all deserve love, and on Valentine’s Day, and I think “Love Me” a great message. Let’s get it up on a billboard in bright letters and cram our love need down everybody’s throat. It’s better than all the plastic surgeon and divorce lawyer signs trying to cram themselves down my throat. Those signs are based in love insecurity.

“Who can love me?”

And if there’s something we Americans share in abundance, it’s insecurity. Maybe it’s the way we scream, “Love Me!” rather than whispering, “I love you.” Maybe that should be the next hit the next sincere artist. Not three-minutes about how cool I am that you’ve got to love me, but what about thirty seconds about how cool it is to share my love with you.

It is you know.

So if you’re reading my blog, thank you. I know that sometimes I come across as sarcastic and self-indulgent. That’s because I am. I’m a blogger. But, I love others too, and, yes, it’s a good and healthy love. So if you’re reading this blog, print it out, cut it in the shape of a little heart, and stick it to your fridge with that pizzeria magnet.

Me, I’m just a jobless blogger, but you, you’re loved.

Happy Valentine’s Day.