Ripping CD's while you work is just one advantage to working at home; veryday being shorts and t-shirt day is another. Why was I ripping CDs? 'Cuz last year my wife gave me an Ipod for my birthday. What do you think she'll give me this year? No, that was my Valentines day present. What about an Iphone? Yeah, I'm holding my breath. If I get a blank card, I'll dance a jig.
I'm a good birthday guy too. I made sure hers were special. It sucked, because it fell right around Christmas. She was so screwed! What parent is going to throw their kid a birthday party during that season? And how many birthday presents did she get wrapped by Santa? No, my heart went out. So I always made sure to save up, making she got cool birthday gifts: sans shiny trees, singing angels, and smiling Santas. They could wait two days. But when they came, I made sure they arrived with bells on too. I swear, I think I spent at least $1000 every year. That's not important though. What's important was that it made her smile, both days. She liked the gifts, and I always made sure to get what she wanted, whether she knew it or not.
That's why I'm ripping the discs today. Well part of it. I'm a music fan. I love music. I love it so much I incorporated it into my last novel. They say write what you know, and I did. Do you know what my day job is? Well if you look in the column to the left it says. No, not the video, or the touch thing. Professional touch? I could get arrested for that…No, I'm a radio researcher. I listen to what the stations play, and report it back to my boss. If you like music, and can't play an instrument better than a 5 year old, what better job could you get? So I buy CD's for research, and I have a literal music library. Even when she takes what she wants from my collection, I'll still have quite a few. Right now my itunes tells me I have 130 days worth of music loaded into my computer, and I still have a wall of CDs to go. I've been collecting them for years, and then there's the cassettes and LPs. She won't want them.
The CDs though, she's gonna want some of them. She'll take all the Motley Crue, no big loss. The Tori Amos is hers too; I'll miss that. There are a bunch of others too, I have no idea what they are, but you know what? If she took them all, I'd be pissed for a bit, but I'd get over it. It's just stuff, it can all be replaced. I'm still burning them onto computer though—just in case.
I've also told her, whatever she wants of mine, let me know, I'll burn a copy. She's making a list, I've seen it. She hasn't given it to me yet, but it's at least a page. No biggy, I'll do it. For the same reason, I bought her the black pearl necklace: It'll make her happy.
Last weekend I finished up the DVDs. Those are mostly hers, but there are a few that were given to me as gifts. She liked giving me movies for my birthday and Christmas; I'll take those. I also bought a box of blank DVDs, making copies of all of all the ones she'll want. Things like Robocop, I don't need to worry about, but The Big Lebowski, Resevoir Dogs, and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, she'll want. When I went to bed, I put the box on her desk with a list of all the DVDs I'd made and told her if there was anything else she needed, let me know.
The next morning I got up and on my desk sat the copy of Spinal Tap. I'd left it in her stack, because I couldn't remember whose it was. I figured, if I don't know, screw it, it's hers. On the copy of Spinal Tap sat a Post It. "I think you may have missed this one. I would like a copy."
"As you wish." I burned her one.
When I handed it to her I said, "Sorry I forgot about that one."
"Yeah, you'll probably want to burn a copy of Best In Show for yourself."
"Yeah, probably…" I let it trail. I couldn't tell her the truth. I wouldn't burn a copy. I don't want copies of the discs that are hers. If I want them later, I'll buy them. But I bought the blanks for her, because I knew she'd want them. Am I pathetic or what?
I think she was expecting a fight on the things. Maybe a few rounds of Let's Make A Deal. Naw, I don't want any of the things. If I could just take my computer and whatever personal belonging I could fit in a car, I would. I can't: the mortgage is in my name. I've done a lot for her, but I'm not gonna abandon my credit. I spent 10 years recovering from my own mistakes, I'm not going to recover from hers.
The only things I wanted were:
The car, (because it's on my mortgage)
The bed, (because I have more expensive tastes when it comes to where to sleep. She can replace it cheaper than I can, and I only want the mattress. She can claim the headboard and frame if it makes her happy.)
The TV in the office (because I put it on my credit card, and I'm paying for it now. A monthly credit card bill, isn't the type of reminder I'm looking for.).
Those are the things I asked for.
Sitting at the new dining table, she ran down her list, which included most everything else. That's fine. The only thing that pissed me off was when she mentioned the table. Not that she mentioned the table, whatever, but that she had to jab at me by saying, "I want this because it's the only thing I picked out." WTF? She picked out EVERYTHING we have. Ok, I picked the aforementioned TV, but she picked the Treadmill, Washer, Dryer, Stove, The entertainment center, the hutch, the sofa. Ok, well I kinda picked the sofa. She told me she wanted a new sofa, so she wanted to buy this cheap $200 lumpy thing that was great to look at, but you'd never want to sit on it. Ok, I'd never want to sit on it. So, I found a few that were nicer, and said, "what about one of these?" She picked the one she liked. My point is this: if you snuck into our house in the middle of the night without turning on the lights, whatever you bruised your shin, shoulder, or head on, she picked it. Those things you're loading into your van, chances are she picked them too. So when she tells me that she didn't have any say in what we bought, it makes me want to slap her. Don't worry, I won't. I was raised better than that. But a man can dream can't he?
We've also agreed that I won't be here when she moves out. I'm not going to help my wife plot her exodus.
She says "You can trust me."
I didn't have the heart to tell her it's not that I feel I can trust her, it's just that whatever she takes, I can replace; take what you want.
Some of you are probably going "What a sap!" Not really. First off, who really uses that term anymore? Why don't you call me a "maroon" too? No, I'm not that either. Nor am I a sucker, fool, or wimp. I've thought this one out. I could make this a knock-down-drag-out over every little item, and you know what? I think I could get it. I'm far more obstinate than she is. Oh, she thinks she's good, but not really. The thing she's best at is overestimating her ability. I may use that later, but not here. I've decided that if it's stuff she wants, then it's stuff she can have. If that's what gets this woman masquerading as my wife out of my life, then I'll sign the check, and pay the price. The woman I loved didn't care about the things. I see this as my last gift. I'll give her the friendliest happy divorce anyone could ever ask for. I'll be twice as compliant in divorce as I ever was in marriage.
You want to know something nice about her? I used to want to be a radio DJ. That's how I got my current job. One year I went to this big conference in New York, and she did everything she could to make sure I was ready. I wasn't making much money, and she took some of hers and paid for some new clothes, a haircut, a manicure, and new business cards. I think we even did some roleplay (no! Not the French maid and the lost sheep roleplay you perv!) She made sure I was ready to go schmooze with the big boys, because it's what I wanted. She was there to support my dream. It didn't pan out, but she was there when I fell too. In those days, she was my friend and my confidant for better or worse. So, I'll let her go with whatever she wants, the only thing I wanted, she's taken away already.
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